The YES Factor

Have you ever met someone who just seems to get everything they want or need as easily as snapping their fingers?

Lately I’ve been wondering  just why it is, that some people always seem to have doors opened up for them, regardless of their circumstances or level of  personal wealth.

So why is it exactly that some people just seem to lead charmed lives?

By this I don’t mean that ‘charmed people’ necessarily always have the biggest homes or the best careers. In fact, sometimes their levels of personal wealth can virtually be non-existent, yet somehow, every time they ask for something it is given to them.

They can be the parents on welfare who always seem to have aid organizations falling all over themselves to offer food, clothing, rental assistance, Christmas hampers and so on, while the family next door, in exactly the same circumstances can’t even get an aid organization to return their phone calls.

Or the man with everything, who gets caught in the rain and has a stranger offer him an umberella, just at the moment he needs it.

Do you know the kind of people I mean?

The kind of people for whom everything  always seems to fall into place.

Regardless of whether or not they have earned it or deserve it.

In Australia we call these kind of people ‘arsey’.

They just seem to have good luck with everything they do, and even their mistakes somehow turn into fortunate outcomes.

The man who misses the bus that breaks down, the student who fails to finish their assignment on time then finds their teacher’s away, the job applicant who misses out on a lesser position only to be offered a better position the next day.

I’m sure you could add countless examples of those who appear to be living ‘charmed lives’ from your own personal experiences.

But what I want to know is,  what is it about these people that makes YES happen?

Is it just luck?

Is it timing?

Is it personal charisma?

Do they have the word YES somehow stamped into their DNA?

Or is it a virus that you can catch like the flu?

Can you even become a YES magnet if you weren’t born with it?

Just what is it and how do you get it?

How can those of us who most need a good old fashioned YES, become one of the fortunate few for whom the  response YES  becomes, not just one of a multitude of possible options, but instead a fore gone conclusion?

The Sexualisation of Pink Balls Are teenage girls facing a crisis in femininity?

Rising rates in the number of teenage girls committing violent crimes and participating in  acts of bullying really do make me question just what is going on with ‘our girls’?

When I look at media representations of women all I see are  overtly sexualized images of what a ‘woman is supposed to look like’.

Yet accompanying these images is the idea that women are also supposed to compete with, and even beat men, at their own games of power and control.

There appears to be a new genre of female being portrayed within the media.

Women who look sexy, yet are nothing short of ballsy in their speech, mannerisms and attitude towards life.

Think of  pop stars such as Pink.

A woman who initially made her mark by dressing sexually provocatively,  yet who was at the same time singing aggressively about the need to  throw the traditional subservient  and distorted female ‘role ’ in the trash can in songs such as “Stupid Girls”.

Don’t get me wrong, I agree with the message that women should no longer automatically be seen as being subservient to men, but, when your  young teenage daughter  starts using the Pink ‘fuck you’ attitude to try to justify attempting to leave the house dressed like Paris Hilton on crack, one can only surmise that there is definitely something wrong with the way the messages of both femininity and female independence are being portrayed.

So what is it that is going so wrong?

Could it possibly be that those of us who live in the real world are clued into a secret that our daughters are yet to learn?

That as adults we all know that there is no way that a young woman who dresses like a proverbial tramp, ignores her schooling and instead engages in bullying or aggressive behavior,  is ever going to successfully compete with men in terms of either life or career success?

Unless you are a rock star, and even then, if the truth be told, this simply just does not happen.

Speaking of ‘it simply just does not happen’,  neither  does the ideal that women must  shout, speak up and speak out against female injustices by becoming as loud and competitively aggressive as men, win women any positive points either

If it did then we would all have by now seen a positive change  in the way females are portrayed in the media.

There has been no real positive change.

So here’s a simple truth:

Female aggression does not  cancel out male aggression.

Instead all it does is up the level of aggression occurring in society and lessen the existence of genuine care as a whole.

Yes sure we may now have some celluloid female role models but even if their attitudes are ‘kick ass’ such as Laura Croft in Tomb Raider, who beats the bad guys and saves the day, she still remains visually heavily sexualised.

So what sort of message does this form of representation send out to young girls?

That now, not only are they expected to kick mens asses, but  they must also look incredibly ‘hot’ and sexy while they are doing so or it simply won’t count?

Really it’s little wonder that young girls are getting the message of independence confused with the message that all successful women must also be some sexualised version of an aggressive dominatrix.

We need to be questioning  not just the overt sexualisation of young girls but the manner in which that sexualisation is also being presented hand in glove with the idea that being  aggressive (both physically and verbally) is the fastest way for females to achieve success.

In the real world the two messages simply do not go together.


Panopticon of the Lost

The Complete Book of Outer Space

The faceless meet,

In a parallel world

Where men,

No better than animals,


Their  caged,



In tier upon tier,

Of amoebic cells,

Divided one,

Against the other,

Signalling our futile attempt,

At the separation of the state,

Of man ,

From monster,

Pretending as we do,

That cruelty and crime,

Belong to some mystical other,

Criminals are not just men,

With different ways of being,


They are men from outer space,

Men somehow,

Not of our race,

Why do we keep telling this lie,

When the evidence of its fallacy,

Lingers on,

Metal stairs,

Mental stares,

Altered  states,

Why do we still believe,

That all bad men,

Can be watched and controlled,


By good men,

The keepers of justice,

Who walk only a minute of the mile,

The Victims of crime,

Endlessly  travel,

While the monsters rest,

Restrained by television sets,

Behind the bars,

Of key-less locks,

And the synchronised eyes,

Of tax payers cameras.

We wait and watch,

Surveil the lost,

And carry the cost,

Knowing that in truth,

Alien or not,

Our methods of separation,

  Are ineffective.