Could starting up and running a Facebook Page be for you? Some of the benefits and pitfalls that you may need to be aware of.

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A few weeks ago I started a Facebook page and I must say that the entire process of doing so was an incredibly easy one.

At every stage along the way there where prompts reminding me of what needed to be done and even suggestions as to how to do them more easily.

Yet, whilst the mechanics of if have been remarkably easy, by far and away, the hardest part of starting up a Facebook page has been finding the right ways to express what it is exactly,  you want  your  page to achieve.

In my case, I wanted to create a page that focused on the female experience of living with Asperger’s Syndrome / High Functioning Autism.

Which in itself sounds fairly straight forward but in actual fact  has proven to be far more difficult than I had at first thought.

So simply having an idea, whether it be specific or not,  as to what you’d like your page to be about, still leaves you only half way there and this is because,  even though you may have a clear concept of what it is you’d like to discuss, share or achieve on your page, others may have very different ideas as to how they perceive or wish to interact with your page.

For instance, even though my page is dedicated to primarily expressing and exploring the experiences of women with Asperger’s, it has been joined by several people who are  either the parents of daughters with Asperger’s Syndrome or the partners of someone with Asperger’s Syndrome.

This is fine by me and for the most part I applaud parents for being open enough to listen too and learn from,  where relevant, the experiences of women who have been in their children’s shoes, but, there are times when either I myself, or someone else, will share a post or a comment, that whilst not designed to hurt the feelings of non-Asperger’s women or parents, never the less, becomes perceived as doing so.

In such cases, the negative comments made by those who feel slighted, often effectively shuts down  any and all further discussion surrounding whatever the topic of the post may have been.

This remains an issue that I am unsure how to confront, as even those people who run Facebook pages that have taken the time to make it very clear that they are designed first and foremost for a specific purpose, still find themselves  in the predicament of having to try and clear up other people’s misconceptions of their comments or posts.

It seems that no matter what you do you can never please everyone, yet I’m  still far from convinced that this fact alone means that one should settle for the potential of offending everyone either.

fblikeAnother issue that has  become somewhat of a quandary to me is the way in which “likes” for particular posts are being both attributed and distributed by Facebook.

For instance, running a much smaller page on Facebook I’ve found that often the bigger pages will pick up on one of my posts and “share” it on their own pages.

Now I don’t mind this happening at all, after all the aim is to spread awareness, and when it first began happening I thought it was a good thing as it was providing my page with exposure.

However this turns out to be less the case because in the process  of the bigger pages doing so, the “likes” for whatever post they’ve chosen to “share”  end up becoming  attributed to their page’s alone.

This means that although it’s may be my post, from my page, that people may be “liking”, the  fact that it is being distributed on a larger page means that those “likes” never make it back to or become attributed to, my page.

Normally this wouldn’t be so much of a problem, however, the way  in which Facebook chooses to promote  ‘not for profit pages’ makes it so, as the capacity of any such page to reach new members , depends entirely upon the amount of “likes” it receives.

The more “likes” a page receives, the bigger the page becomes and the size of the page decides how high up on the list of recommended pages, it will appear on Facebook.

The higher up the list a page appears, the more likely it is that it will continue to attract new members and therefore grow.

So, under this system, if  bigger pages continue to be the sole beneficiaries  of the  “likes” they receive  for “sharing” smaller pages posts, then effectively the  bigger pages will continue to boom and the smaller pages will continue to remain just that, small.

This to me sets up a kind of dog eat dog system of promotion, which is something to bear in mind and be prepared for, if you are thinking of starting up a Facebook Page.

So although Facebook makes it incredibly easy to start your own Facebook Page, these are  just  some of the issues associated with starting up and running a Facebook page that you need to be aware of.

In the end, whether or not you choose to start-up a Facebook page, may well all come down to a matter of deciding what it is you want to achieve and whether or not that goal can best be achieved via Facebook.

 

23 Things you can take for granted if you happen to be Neuro -Typical with Neuro-Typical children

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1. You can, if you wish, arrange to be in the company of people who share your own “neuro-typical status” most of the time.

 

2. If  you should need to move, you can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area, that you can afford and in which you would want to live.

 

3. You can be pretty sure that your neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant toward you.

 

4. You can go shopping alone most of the time,  and be pretty well assured that you will not be followed or harassed.

 

5. You can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of your own “neuro- typical status” widely represented (in positive ways).

 

6. When you were told about your national heritage or about “civilization,” you were shown that people of your ilk made it what it is.

 

7. You can be sure that your children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their “neuro-typical validity”.

 

8. You can arrange to protect your children most of the time from people who might not like them.

 

9. Whether you use checks, credit cards or cash, you can count on your “neuro-typical behaviour” not to work against the appearance of your financial reliability.

 

10. You can go into a supermarket or into a hairdresser’s without risking “being over whelmed by sensory stimulation”.

 

11. You can swear, or dress in second-hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to bad morals, or the inadequacies of  “having a non-neuro- typical status”.

 

12. You can speak in public to a powerful group without putting your “neurological status” on trial.

 

13. You can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to your “neuro-typical” class.

 

14. You will never be asked to speak on behalf of all the people in your “neuro- typical” group, everywhere.

 

15. You can remain oblivious of the “sensory needs and issues of non-neuro-typical persons” without feeling any cultural penalty for doing so.

 

16. You can criticize your government and talk about how much you fear its policies and behavior without being seen as an outsider.

 

17. You can be pretty sure that if you ask to talk to “the person in charge,” you will be facing a person of your own “neuro-typical status”

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18. You can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys, and children’s magazines featuring people of your own “neuro-typical status”.

 

19. You can go home from most meetings of organizations you belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, or feared.

 

20. You can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having co-workers on the job suspect that you got it because of your “neurological status”.

 

21. You can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of your “neurological status” will be mistreated in the place you have chosen.

 

22. You can be sure that if you need legal or medical help your “neurological status” will not work against you.

 

23. If your day, week or year is going badly, you need not ask of each negative episode or situation you’ve encountered, whether it holds “discriminatory” overtones.

Artwork by Sam Drawing

Artwork by Sam Drawing

These are just a few examples of the common everyday things that those of us  who experience Autism, Developmental delays, Brain Injuries, Chromosomal additions or deletions, or who are neurologically different, in any way,  can never  take for granted in our daily lives.

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So the next time you see someone struggling to do that which for you has now become so easy that  it’s taken for granted, take a few seconds before you cast judgement and ask what you can do to help, rather than  hinder, that person’s situation.

Art by Maria Zeldis

Art by Maria Zeldis

A little bit of kindness goes a long, long way but a little bit of understanding goes even further.

Art work by Kate Hannah

Art work by Kate Hannah

List originally compiled using the resources of the classic article “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” By Peggy McIntosh, and adapted by me to include and consider the ramifications of the taken for granted actions of those who do not experience any degree of neurological difference.

 

Adapting Peggy McIntosh’s paper on “Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack of privilege” to accommodate and reveal how Neuro-Typicality constructs its own unspoken system of privilege in our society.

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“As a “neuro-typical person”, I realized I had been taught about discrimination as something which puts others at a disadvantage, yet at the same time, I had been taught not to see one of its corollary aspects, which are that “neuro-typical privilege” puts me at an advantage.

 

 

I think “neuro-typical people” are carefully taught not to recognize their privilege, in much the same way that males are taught not to recognize male privilege.

 

So I have begun in an untutored way to ask what it is like to have “neuro-typical Privilege.”

 

I have come to view “neuro-typical privilege” as an invisible package of unearned assets which I can count on cashing in each day, but about which I was ‘meant’ to remain oblivious.

 

“Neuro-typical privilege” is like an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, maps, passports, code books, visas, clothes, tools and blank checks.

 

In a sense it affords those who are “neuro-typical” all of the automatic advantages and access to the world that those who are “non neuro-typical” do not have.

 

Thinking about privilege in this way I began to understand why we are seen as oppressive, even when we don’t see ourselves that way.

 

I began to count the ways in which I enjoy an unearned sense of privilege and of how I have been conditioned into oblivion about its existence.

 

My schooling gave me no training in seeing myself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person or as a participant in a damaged culture.

 

I was taught to see myself as an individual whose moral state depended on her individual moral will.

 

My schooling followed the pattern in which “neuro-typicals” are taught to think of their lives as morally neutral, normative, and average, and also ideal, so that when we work to benefit others, this is seen as work which will allow “them“ to be more like “us.”

 

I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the daily effects of “neuro-typical privilege” on my life.

 

As far as I can see, my “non neuro-typical” co-workers, friends and acquaintances with whom I come into daily or frequent contact in this particular time, place and line of work cannot count on most of these conditions.

 

1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my own “neuro-typical status” most of the time.

 

2. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area, which I can afford and in which I would want to live.

 

3. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.

 

4. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

 

5. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my “neuro- typical status” widely represented (in positive ways).

 

6. When I am told about our national heritage or about “civilization,” I am shown that people of my ilk made it what it is.

 

7. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence of their “neuro-typical validity”.

 

8. I can arrange to protect my children most of the time from people who might not like them.

 

9. Whether I use checks, credit cards or cash, I can count on my “neuro-typical behaviour” not to work against the appearance of my financial reliability.

 

10. I can go into a supermarket or into a hairdresser’s without risking “being over whelmed by sensory stimulation”.

 

11. I can swear, or dress in second-hand clothes, or not answer letters, without having people attribute these choices to bad morals, poverty, or the inadequacies of  “having a non-neuro- typical status”.

 

12. I can speak in public to a powerful group without putting my “neurological status” on trial.

 

13. I can do well in a challenging situation without being called a credit to my “neuro-typical” class.

 

14. I am never asked to speak for all the people of my “neuro- typical” group.

 

15. I can remain oblivious of the “sensory needs and issues of non-neuro-typical persons” without feeling any cultural penalty for doing so.

 

16. I can criticize our government and talk about how much I fear its policies and behavior without being seen as an outsider.

 

17. I can be pretty sure that if I ask to talk to “the person in charge,” I will be facing a person of my own “neuro-typical status”

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18. I can easily buy posters, post-cards, picture books, greeting cards, dolls, toys, and children’s magazines featuring people of my own “neuro-typical status”.

 

19. I can go home from most meetings of organizations I belong to feeling somewhat tied in, rather than isolated, out-of-place, outnumbered, unheard, held at a distance, or feared.

 

20. I can take a job with an affirmative action employer without having co-workers on the job suspect that I got it because of my “neurological status”.

 

21. I can choose public accommodation without fearing that people of my “neurological status” will be mistreated in the place I have chosen.

 

22. I can be sure that if I need legal or medical help my “neurological status” will not work against me.

 

23. If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether it has “discriminatory” overtones.

 

I repeatedly forgot each of the realizations on this list until I wrote them down.

 

For me, “neuro-typical privilege” has turned out to be an elusive and fugitive subject.

 

The pressure to avoid it is great, for in facing it I must give up the myth of meritocracy, for if these things are true, this is not such a free country; one’s life is not what one makes it; many doors open for certain people through no virtues of their own.

 

In unpacking this invisible backpack of privilege, I have listed conditions of daily experience which I once took for granted.

 

I now think that we need a more finely differentiated taxonomy of privilege, for some these varieties are only what one would want for everyone in a just society, and for others give license to be ignorant, oblivious, arrogant and destructive.

 

I see a pattern running through the matrix of “neuro- typical privilege”, a pattern of assumptions which were passed on to me as a “neuro-typical” person.

 

My “neurological status” has been an asset for any move that I’m educated to want to make.

 

I could think of myself as belonging in major ways, and of making social systems work for me.

 

I could freely disparage, fear, neglect, or be oblivious to anything outside of the dominant cultural forms.

 

Being of the main culture, I could also criticize it fairly freely.

 

In proportion, as my “neurological status” made my group confident, comfortable, and oblivious, other groups were likely being made unconfident, uncomfortable, and alienated.

 

My “neurological status” protected me from many kinds of hostility, distress, and violence, which I was being subtly trained to visit in turn upon people of “different neurology”.

 

For this reason, the word “privilege” now seems to be misleading.

 

We usually think of privilege as being a favored state, whether earned or conferred by birth or luck. Yet some of the conditions I have described here work to systematically over empower certain groups.

 

Such privilege simply confers dominance because of one’s “neurological status”.

 

I want, then, to distinguish between earned strength and unearned power conferred systematically.

 

Power from unearned privilege can look like strength when it is in fact permission to escape or to dominate.

 

The expectation that your neighbors will be decent to you, or that your “neurological status” will not count against you in court, should be the norm in a just society.

 

For example, the feeling that one belongs within the human circle, as Native Americans say, should not be seen as a privilege for the few.

 

Ideally it is an unearned entitlement.

 

At present, since only a few have it, it is also an unearned advantage for them.

 

This paper results from a process of coming to see that some of the power which I originally saw as attendant on being a human being in the U.S. consisted in an unearned advantage of conferred dominance.

 

I have met very few “neuro-typical” people who are truly distressed about their systemic, unearned advantage and conferred dominance. And so one question for me and others like me is whether we will be like them or whether we will get truly distressed, even outraged about unearned “neuro-typical” advantage and conferred dominance and if so, what will we do to lessen them.

 

In any case, we need to do more work in identifying how these unearned advantages actually affect our daily lives.

 

Many, perhaps most of our “neuro-typical students”, think that “disablism” doesn’t affect them because they are “neuro-typical”, so they do not see being “non neuro-typical” as an identity.

 

In addition, it is hard to disentangle aspects of unearned advantage which rest more on social class, economic class, race, religion, sex and ethnic identity than on other factors.

 

Still, all of the oppressions are interlocking and one factor that seems clear about all of the interlocking oppressions is that they take both active forms, which we can see, and embedded forms, which as a member of the dominant group one is not taught to see.

 

In my class and place, I did not see myself as “discriminatory” because I was taught to recognize “discrimination” only in individual acts of meanness by members of my group, never in the invisible systems conferring unsought “neurological” dominance on my group from birth.

 

Disapproving of these systems won’t be enough to change them.

 

I was taught to think that “discrimination” could end if individuals changed their attitudes.

 

(But) being “neuro-typical” opens many doors for those who are, whether or not we approve of the way dominance has been conferred on us. Individual acts can palliate, but cannot end, these problems.

 

To redesign social systems we need first to acknowledge their colossal unseen dimensions.

 

The silences and denials surrounding privilege are the key political tools here.

 

They keep the thinking about equality or equity incomplete, protecting unearned advantage and conferred dominance by making these taboo subjects.

 

Most talk by “neuro-typicals” about equal opportunity seems to me now to be about equal opportunity to try to get into a position of dominance while denying that systems of dominance exist.

 

It seems to me that obliviousness about “neurological advantage” is kept strongly inculturated so as to maintain the myth of meritocracy, the myth that democratic choice is equally available to all.

 

Keeping most people unaware that freedom of confident action is there for just a small number of people props up those in power, and serves to keep power in the hands of the same groups that have most of it already.

 

Though systemic change takes many decades there are pressing questions for me and I imagine for some others like me if we raise our daily consciousness on the perquisites of being “neuro-typical.”

 

What we will do with such knowledge is an open question?

 

Whether we will choose to use unearned advantage to weaken hidden systems of advantage or whether we will use any of our arbitrarily awarded power to reconstruct power systems on a broader base, is up to us.”

 

This reworking of the classic article “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” By Peggy McIntosh, an Associate Director of the Wellesley College Center for Research for Women, was initially written to challenge racism  by looking at it through the lens of “whiteness” and the unspoken level of privilege that whiteness confers upon those who hold it. The vast majority of her article as represented here, continues to remain the work of Peggy McIntosh almost verbatim. The only changes I have made have been to replace the terms “white privilege” with “neuro-typical privilege”, “whiteness” or ‘white/fair skinned” with the word “neuro-typical’ and “race” or “racism” with terms “discrimination”, “neurological status” or “non neuro-typical status”.

‘Normalism’- What is it and how should we treat those who are currently experiencing it?

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‘Normalism’ is a neurological condition which affects the way the majority of the world’s population view, understand, absorb and respond to their environment and those around them.

People who experience ‘Normalism’ often hold the belief that their ways of interpreting and responding to the world, provide the only truly valid means of doing so.

As a result of their extremely narrowed thinking processes, those with ‘Normalism’ often display a severe lack of tolerance and empathy towards those whose modes of processing the world do not match their own.

‘Normalist’s (individuals who are experience ‘Normalism’) often prefer to categorise   those who differ from them in any way, as being ‘Abnormal’.

Early warning signs of ‘Normalism’ include:

-         A severe lack of tolerance toward anyone who appears to be different to the individual in question.

-         Displays of lack of empathy, awareness and understanding towards the suffering of others.

-         A stubborn adherence to a singular perception of the world (namely their own).

-         Extremely rigidity of thinking concerning who should and who should not have the right to participate equally in this world

-         A high need for social interactions with others who share their views.

So what can we do to help those who are experiencing ‘Normalism’?

Over the years a variety of strategies have been applied to try and help those with ‘Nomralism’ broaden their neurological horizons.

These strategies have included the use of both social awareness and work place tolerance training campaigns.

So far however, neither of these campaigns have been able to successfully persuade the majority of those experiencing ‘Normalism’ to change their discriminatory and harmful views.

Scientists are hopeful that the discovery of the gene responsible for ‘Normalism’ may go some way toward explaining how and why levels of ‘Normalism’ appear to be rising.

In the meantime, specialists within the field of ‘Normalism’ agree that the best method for treating this condition remains the repetition of phrases such as ‘we are all the equal’, ‘we are all human’ and ‘we all deserve access to the same fundamental human rights’.

If you feel that someone you love may currently be experiencing the symptoms of early onset ‘Normalism’, we urge you to seek professional assistance at once, as trying to cure the condition of ‘Normalism’ on your own may be potentially harmful to your own emotional and psychological health.

This message on ‘Normalism’, signs, symptoms and prevention, has been brought to you by those of us who are tired of being defined by our neurological differences.

Thank you.

Simple Truth or Twisted Logic?

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This supposedly simple truth is one that I’m not at all sure I agree with.

No matter how logical statements like these first appear to be, there’s always something about them that pulls at that questioning part inside of me.

The part that makes me wonder whether or not we should accept statements like these too easily, and if we do accept them, what is it exactly that we are buying into when we do?

Saying that one shouldn’t expect a lion not to eat a person just because a person wouldn’t eat a lion, which is indeed a true statement, is one thing, but to then use this truth as a justification for saying that we shouldn’t expect the world, (which really means the people in it as the world itself is an inanimate object), to treat us fairly just because we treat others fairly, is another issue entirely.

After all, people are not lions….. and now that we’ve established that fact……

Just why is it again that we’re not to expect others to treat us fairly if we do the same to them?

Oh that’s right, it’s because being preyed upon, ripped off, taken advantage of, lied too, stolen from, beaten up or maimed in some way by others in life, is supposedly all part of the natural order of things, therefore we should just accept and expect it.

Well it may be the natural order of things for lion’s to behave in this way, but once again, people are not lions and I’m still far from convinced that behaving like a wild animal, in any way, should constitute what’s considered to be the natural order of behavior for human beings.

I don’t truly think that many people would, upon rational reflection, agree to the statement that we should all expect to be preyed upon by others.

Nor accept the idea that being nice to others automatically  means that we deserve to become the victims of human predators.

Especially considering that the validation of such ideas are based on little more than the observation that lions in the wild, hunt to survive.

Or perhaps I’m just being foolish.

What do you think?

 

Thank you but I choose to be with me…..

316065_10151564341687500_1601415000_nWith the silly season fast approaching, carrying with it as it does,  the expectations that all of us should want to engage in the social niceties of attending Christmas parties, family gatherings or work related celebrations, I think it’s nice for  those of us who are on the Autism Spectrum to be reminded that whilst it’s lovely to be asked to attend such events,  it’s also Okay for us to say no if we don’t want to go.

So if  you’re feeling overwhelmed, uncomfortable or anxious about all of the expectations that you know others may be about to place  on you, then allow yourself the space and the grace  to say no.

Those who love you will understand and those who wish to judge you will just have to tell it to the hand.

Myths, Lies and Suspicious Minds – Debunking the popular misconceptions that surround the lives of adults with Asperger’s Syndrome

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Since first being recognized in 1944 by an Austrian paediatrician, Hans Asperger, the neurologically diverse disorder known as Asperger’s Syndrome, has  arguably become one of the most widely misdiagnosed, socially misunderstood and contentious disorders on the Autism Spectrum.

For this reason, those living with Asperger’s Syndrome often find themselves having to battle against a sea of erroneous professional and social misconceptions (myths) which leave them wide open to a consistent stream of criticism and suspicion as to who they truly are, their levels of ability, and the validity of their ‘unusual’ ways of being the world.

The aim of this article is to redress some of the myths that have sprung up regarding Asperger’s Syndrome  over time.

Myth 1: Asperger’s Syndrome is both an over and under Diagnosed condition that only affects males .

Since its addition to the DSM in the late 80’s researchers have contended that Asperger’s Syndrome is a condition that has been both significantly over and under diagnosed.

Given such paradoxical assertions, one could argue that contentions surrounding either the over or under diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome, appears to be very much dependent on which ever ways the  political winds of the time are blowing.

For example, there are some who contend that a 1992 U.S. Department of Education directive to enhance services for children diagnosed with “pervasive development disorder, not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS),” led to a flood of diagnosing  “socially awkward children” with Asperger’s Syndrome as a knee jerk reaction to achieving higher levels of funding and support for those children.

Since then the question has often been asked:

“ At what point should a child’s  eccentric, aloof or ‘oddball,’ behaviours be considered a developmental condition instead of a potentially passing phase?”

Questions like these have led to a high degree of social scepticism over the validity of an Asperger’s diagnosis, with many choosing to believe instead that Asperger’s is merely a diagnosis of convenience, used by parents to try and excuse their children’s bad behaviours.

Beliefs such as these have fed into a tendency to either under diagnose  or delay the diagnosis of children with Asperger’s Syndrome.

They have also further  added to the high degrees of intolerance and  lack of understanding that  parents of children with Asperger’s Syndrome, particularly girls, routinely describe experiencing in the  difficult and  stressful process of trying to seek help, support and acceptance for children on the Autism Spectrum.

There is no doubting that rates of under diagnosis have had a particularly strong impact on the lives of women and girls, whom it was once believed could not experience Asperger’s Syndrome..

More recently researchers have begun to contend that boys are no more dramatically susceptible to the syndrome than girls; rather it’s the fact that girls present or manifest the disorder in ways that are different to boys that have led to their high levels of under or misdiagnosis.

Though many females have remained undiagnosed for a variety of reasons, including the fact that girls are better at blending in, or that some AS traits are seen as being more socially acceptable in girls, there are females with Asperger’s Syndrome within our communities and more and more females are being diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome every day..

This improvement in the rates of girls now being diagnosed can be directly attributed to the many adults, particularly women, who are now speaking out about the debilitating impacts that growing up as a child with undiagnosed Asperger’s Syndrome has had on their lives.

If we listen to the experiences of those adults who are now speaking out, we should all be able to become more aware that the level of damage caused by refusing to legitimately recognize the symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome in a child, regardless of their gender, can be catastrophic.

The stories of those who have lived through the pain of being undiagnosed should serve as a reminder to us of the importance and the need to engage in an accurate and unbiased  diagnostic process, untethered to either political or financial interests.


2 Myth: Asperger’s Syndrome only affects children: Therefore adults can and should grow out of it with time.

Many people have a tendency to think that Asperger’s Syndrome only affects children and that adults can and should be capable of growing out of it.

Such thinking has evolved in parallel with the idea that all children with ADHD can be medicated and will  eventually grow out of the condition.

Similarly, people also presume that adults with Asperger’s Syndrome, should somehow have been cured of it via early intervention therapies and other treatments by the time they reach adulthood.

Such ideas are both erroneous and extremely harmful to adults with Asperger’s Syndrome who struggle daily to attain some small degree of acceptance and understanding for their symptoms.

As it stands, there is no cure for Asperger’s Syndrome because it is neither a disease nor a disorder that people can turn on or off at will or that can be treated and made disappear by the use of medication.

One of the main reasons why the myth that Asperger’s Syndrome isn’t as common among adults as it is among children has persisted, may well be the fact that adults often have had a lifetime of  trial and error experiences to draw upon, which subsequently helps them to mask their symptoms for brief periods of time.

This skill unfortunately also enables people to believe that a person’s Asperger’s Syndrome is capable of going away. Which of course it isn’t.

Rather than allowing people to presume such nonsense I like to think of it this way:

Adults do not grow out of having Asperger’s Syndrome,  but rather, after living a life time of observing others and figuring out for themselves which environments and people are best suited to them, many adults with Asperger’s Syndrome grow into a deeper acceptance of themselves and therefore seek out life styles, where possible, that better suit their needs.

In this way I believe that adults grow into their Asperger’s Syndrome, not out of it.

So now that we’ve established that adults can and do legitimately have Asperger’s Syndrome it’s time to move on to some of the most common misconceptions about adult’s with AS.

 

3 Myth: Adults with Asperger’s Syndrome are attention seeking, cold, aloof, loners, who don’t care about the needs of others.

This is perhaps the most harmful myth of all. It has been said (and sometimes by fairly prominent people within the media) that Asperger’s Syndrome is just an excuse for some people to behave like sociopathic jerks.

This is not true. As with the formerly more well-known form of classic Autism, those with Asperger’s Syndrome do not choose to have this challenging condition.

They are not trying to be deliberately rude by avoiding eye contact, social interactions or loud, unfamiliar environments such as parties or large family gatherings simply as a way of gaining attention.

Part of the problem for those with Asperger syndrome is that personal relationships, including familial relationships, often require them to try and take part in hyper social activities that contain all of the many unwritten rules and social cues, those with Asperger’s Syndrome find so confusing.

As a result they will often avoid taking part in such activities.

Yet get a person with Asperger’s Syndrome in a one on one situation, without all of the distractions of a loud or unfamiliar environment, and you will often find that they are very warm, witty and generally caring people.

It really is as simple as that.

Yet despite this simple truth, those with Asperger’s Syndrome, whose outward appearances mark them out as being more focused on their own needs rather than on the social niceties of life, still often find themselves being ostracized and misunderstood by others.

Another very simple truth is that the vast majority of those with Asperger’s Syndrome desperately want to be liked and accepted by others. They just don’t know how to achieve this because unlike neruo-typicals, those with Asperger’s Syndrome were not born with the same intrinsic toolbox of social understandings and awareness’, that those born without Asperger’s Syndrome take for granted.

So although people with Asperger’s have routinely been viewed as being quiet, introspective people who are cold and aloof, the truth is that more often than not, they are simply people who are either too shy or too scared of being misunderstood, to say a word.

Another area of life that may make those with Asperger’s Syndrome appear aloof, or unable to put the needs of others first, involves the impacts that sensory issues may have on them.

For this reason, the need to maintain an environment that lessens the impacts of their sensory issues often creates within those with Asperger’s, an over-riding drive for safety that can become far more important to them than taking part in the social niceties of life.

But this does not mean that all Aspies are introverts, indeed some are also extroverts.

A good rule of thumb to remember is that if it looks like an Aspie is ignoring you, chances are they’re not, they’re merely observing your interactions and being cautious

And speaking of being cautious, here’s another myth that desperately needs busting.

4. Myth: Asperger’s is a dangerous mental illness that makes People more prone to Violence 

Due to modern media discourse and  the recent spate of sad and unfortunate instances of loner male teens committing acts of unthinkable violence, several erroneous links between such teens and those with Asperger’s Syndrome has once again raised speculations that Asperger’s may be a form of mental illnesses.

Such speculations however  represent both an immense lack of understanding in regards to mental illness in general and of Asperger’s syndrome itself.

Asperger’s syndrome is not a mental illness.

It is a neurological/developmental disorder.

Unlike classic or severe Autism, those with Asperger’s syndrome are often not diagnosed until school age when they’re lack of interaction with peers and the inability to automatically understand social cues begins to mark them out as being in some way different from their peers.

Although those with Asperger’s syndrome may also experience high levels of anxiety and a predisposition towards depression, it as yet unclear whether or not these conditions occur in tandem with Asperger’s Syndrome as a result of either sensory overload of the constant desire of society to force those with Asperger’s Syndrome to assimilate into social and environmental situations which they may find either uncomfortable or excruciating.

For instance, if you have an extreme sensitivity to sounds, being forced to sit amidst a classroom full of noisy peers would be enough to trigger  both extreme anxiety and discomfort.

If you don’t believe the debilitating effects this can have on an individual with Asperger’s Syndrome, then try going to a heavy metal rock concert with an ear infection and see whether or not you enjoy standing in front of the speakers.

Chances are, you will not.

However, unlike those with Asperger’s Syndrome, nobody is likely to accuse you of having a mental illness simply because you found being in a loud environment with painful ears unbearable.

The sheer logic alone of trying to associate the reactions of those with Asperger’s syndrome experiencing sensory overloads with the actions of those experiencing psychotic mental illnesses is once again extremely flawed.

So flawed in fact that it is now widely accepted by psychiatrists and psychologists alike that there are few, if any, alleged links between Asperger’s Syndrome and extreme acts of wilful violence to be found.

Hence those with Asperger’s Syndrome are no more prone to violence than the general population.

The only crime it appears those diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome are guilty of is that of being somewhat eccentric by exhibiting behaviours that do not fall within the realms of what society considers ‘normal’.

Once again these are issues of socialization, not violence.

In conclusion, Asperger’s Syndrome, is considered a “developmental disorder” that a person is born with.

While no one knows exactly what causes Asperger’s Syndrome, what is becoming clear is the fact that the levels of misconception and suspicion that often surrounds adults with Asperger’s Syndrome, make it a tough and lonely disorder to live and deal with on a daily basis for many.

One key way in which we can begin to redress many of the myths and misconceptions that surround the experiences of adults with Asperger’s Syndrome would be to encourage those with the condition to discuss their struggles openly and honestly without all of the leering suspicions that have become so much a part of their daily lives.

Holding fast to my own experiences

How many of us end up doubting the authenticity of our own experiences simply because we’re constantly being told that we can’t possibly feel or think as we do, just because some ‘professional’ somewhere years ago, decided that Aspies are supposedly incapable of emotions such as empathy, or are not interested in engaging in genuine interpersonal relationships that are filled with both love and understanding?

The truth is, that when it comes to understanding Women’s experiences of Asperger’s Syndrome, most ‘professionals’ are so completely caught up in their own dark maze of prehistoric logic, that they haven’t even realized that they’re holding their AS maps upside down yet…..

Rachel in her amazing article which I’d encourage you to take the time to read, questions whether or not we’ve been sold a false bill of goods.

One that is filled with false assertions, which in turn make us question ourselves. As she states:
“I’ve spent much of my adult life describing myself as an empath, and I have always read emotional and social process very well. But then my autism diagnosis came along and voila! I was supposed to be deficient in empathy.”
Holding Fast To My Own Experience | Disability and Representation | Changing the Cultural…

Ten myths about Introverts…..

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Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they’ll talk for days.

 

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. I promise they won’t bite you.

 

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

 

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

 

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

 

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

 

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

 

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

 

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

 

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

I’m sure there are several other well-worn Introvert related myths circulating around out there.

So tell me,  which  Introvert related myth, would you most like to see laid to rest?

List originally sourced from http://sociallyawkwardearneck.

 

Autism from an adults perspective – “It’s a horrible feeling of vulnerability and helplessness to know that the non-autistic world sees you as seriously impaired”.

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Bitterness is a trap Aspies and Auties can easily fall into; it’s entirely understandable, but it doesn’t help the healing process. There is something that can be quite embittering for many of us on the autism spectrum, something appallingly undermining. For a start, there’s the stigma, the social taboo, the fact that to some people, you are now an embarrassment, and some of them show it.

On the inside, it’s a horrible feeling of vulnerability and helplessness to know that the non-autistic world sees you as seriously impaired, and there are a million and one ways it will try to make you feel as if you are not a fully functioning human being. At best, you know you’ll never be quite “normal”; and in a herd-mentality society that subsists on the fragility of social acceptance, this knowledge can a times indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

This feeling of being vulnerable, confused and a bit lost, still happens to me every day, even  after more than forty years of dealing with it.

I was not diagnosed as having Asperger’s syndrome until adulthood, but well before that I did not produce appropriate emotional responses on meeting other humans, and that led to a disastrous cascade effect – I lost contact, became withdrawn, and fell off the cumulative ladder of social-emotional learning.

To this day, I have significant degree of impairment with social-emotional skills. I can’t be sure I am reading people’s signals accurately. Indeed, often I know I haven’t, even before they become guarded and then pissed off – I’m not at all sure I fully understand what they are saying, especially if they are “being polite” or trying to imply something rather than saying it straight out. I need direct, literal communication: and on this cagey, dodgy planet I seldom get it, which means that much of the time I can’t be sure that I did in fact “get it”.

I often have to ask for clarification, which can lead people to think that I am a “please explain” duh-brain; it also leads to conflict because they think I’m just being awkward in not accepting what they think they have said, or not coming back with what they deem the appropriate emotional response.

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At such times, my underlying high IQ is not obvious to the casual observer. This can all add up to a very embittering feeling of insecurity – the feeling that I am condemned to a position of permanent and humiliating disadvantage, of seeming to be a bit of an idiot.

Bitterness can set in when living with autism or Asperger’s syndrome. But is it possible to leave the bitterness behind, to work through it to a sunnier place? I hope so. I’m still working on mine: here are some ideas I’ve found helpful.

The first point is one that actually elongates the process rather than shortening it. I have often been told that I need to forgive, to let go, to move on. That is true: but it is utterly pointless trying to do that unless we have first fully, honestly and laboriously worked through all the negative feelings, all the grief we have about not fitting into this world. It is vital and indispensable that anyone who is on the autism spectrum has the absolute right to go through our own grieving process in our own time, and let go of it all only when we are REALLY ready to do so.

Forgiveness is not an instantaneous action, a simple stroke of volition. It is a difficult emotional process, and it simply doesn’t work if we try to jump stages. It is easy to say we must forgive, let it go. Yet we cannot forgive until we have let the anger up to the surface and expressed it. And don’t ask whether or not your feelings are reasonable – feelings are never reasonable. They are not meant to be reasonable: feelings are feelings, not rational ideas. Don’t get the two confused, they are very different phenomena.

Thus, to get to the stage of being able to let go of our resentments, we must work through all the powerful stages of grieving – the denial, the depression and hopelessness, the slowly mobilizing anger, the growing reconciliation to our new, impaired daily reality, the radical reassessment of our goals, life experiences and interpretations. It takes time, often a lot of time – and we need to allow ourselves to do it in our own impaired time, not on a schedule suggested by well-meaning (or otherwise) helpers.

At all times, I try to keep one guiding principle in mind and that is that the fact that I am an Aspie does not make me less of a human being.

Nor does it detract from my indelible human rights – including above all the right to make a positive contribution to the betterment of the human condition in whatever ways I can.

I may be different but I’m still a human being and just like every other human being I will have my good days and my bad days and my own unique ways of processing past hurts.