If there’s one thing I’ve learned through some of the negative comments I’ve received on my posts over the past few months, it’s how to find the positives in negative feedback.
Now trust me, in order for me to this, it took an extraordinary amount of effort and there were often times when I would find myself coming back to the same negative comments again and again in order to try to figure out just what it was about them that triggered some sore point within me.
Sometimes this process took weeks and in one particular case ,even months, of reading and re-reading the words of others in order to try to understand their perspectives on issues that seemed either so clear, or so personal to me, that the differences of opinions expressed by others cut me deeply.
Given that I write, as I do, on some very personal and complex issues, a negative comment can and often does feel somewhat akin to a slap across the face to me.
The words of others can sting me far harder than any bee ever could.
Never-the-less, over the last few months, I’ve come to realize that not all negative comments are necessarily bad.
Sure they may feel as if they are at the time, but, if you take the time to give yourself some distance and really allow yourself to delve into those words, then sometimes, just sometimes, you may find yourself coming out of it all with a new, or even just a slightly altered, perspective.
Through this approach I’ve come to understand that sometimes the comments that I’d at first considered to be negative and hurtful, were just in point fact, showing me a very different way of thinking about issues, than the ways I normally would.
For me, reaching this level of understanding has been helpful.
Dare I say it, even insightful.
So the next time you receive a negative comment on any of your blog posts, or even a comment that you don’t fully understand, providing of course that it’s not witless spam, instead of trashing it, just hold it over for a few days and give the words within it a chance to sink in.
You may just find a small glimmer of wisdom hidden within all the negativity that you hadn’t been able to see before.
Of course having said that, you will always get some negative comments that simply are just that, negative comments, designed to be either disrespectful or hurtful.
In a lot of ways, such comments will always come as part and parcel of being willing to put yourself out there by blogging.
The trick to it all is to figure out which negative comments you are reacting too most strongly and then to give yourself the time, permission and willingness to try to figure out what it is about those particular comments that impact on you so keenly.
You may find that they strike at some inner conviction that you’ve held so deeply inside of you that you’d become almost unaware that you’d even been holding it until that bell was rung or that chord was struck inside of you, by a negative comment.
You may also find, as I have recently, that having a different opinion on something is not in and of itself necessarily a negative and that sometimes these differences of opinion can show you new and useful ways of thinking about old situations.
Just remember, not everyone who questions your ideas is necessarily doing you harm, and that similarly, not everyone who agrees with you is necessarily helping you to gain any deeper understanding of either yourself or your situation.
Happy blogging everyone :)
- Debunking Negativity (quantumperceptions.wordpress.com)
- Negative Feedback? Respond! (socialsolutionscollective.com)
- Keeping your blogging cool (onecoolsitebloggingtips.com)
- Trouncing Out The Negativity (thishumanjourney.com)
- How to look into Negativity (bharadwajism.com)
- How to be positive in your life? (integratedenergyworks.com)
- Dear Larry Page: Negativity is not always a bad thing (zdnet.com)
- The “Sandwich Approach” Undermines Your Feedback (blogs.hbr.org)