No Longer Invisible Darling Girl….. a beautifully written expression of what it’s really like for a mother to walk alongside her daughter on the pathway towards a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome……
Originally posted on A View From My Summerhouse:
It’s been bad. It’s heavy. Bring on whatever it has to be, I can take it, but please don’t let my daughter suffer. There is nothing worse than watching your children go through the hell of despair.
Today I wanted to write a light-hearted post about the birds visiting my garden, about my cats, about the lovely rain and the sunshine, but I cannot. The words evade me. I am lost inside a murky shadowland, staggering about looking for some kind of light, any kind of light.
My daughter suffers, entrapped in a world of isolation, hopelessness and yes, rage, that only someone with Aspergers can understand. I am her mother and I think I understand, but I don’t, not really, though Lord above, how I try.
Before you were born I imagined how it would be And what I'd say to you And what you would say to me
I pictured what we would do And I planned what life would hold But all of that had to change The day that I was told
A different life awaited us From the one that I had thought And a lesson in Autism Was going to be taught
Things would be difficult And times could be tough I would sometimes wonder Why my love is just not enough
But then I'd come to realise That the journey that we're on Is just a different route And it sometimes may feel long
I'd have to think of other ways To meet the dreams I'd planned Autism had placed me In a new and mysterious land
We could still have fun And we could still learn Even if some days I didn't know which way to turn
Although life was different I'd make sure it was complete I wouldn't give up on life And I wouldn't admit defeat
There would still be a world out there For us to seek and explore And for you I would do anything My special child who I adore
Before you were born I planned our life together And I'll be there to hold your hand Today, tomorrow and forever
© Donna Woods 2013
I rarely write about my middle child.
My youngest son who so willingly engages, Within in his own silent and peaceful universe.
The universe he’s created to escape the lack of attention he receives from me when ever I’m busy dealing with either the needs of my eldest son or the melt downs of my youngest daughter.
I know sometimes he thinks that I forget to see to him.
That I forget to listen to, or hear him.
Or that I forget to think of him and his needs amidst the daily jungle of our lives.
I’d like to say that he’s perspectives are neither accurate nor true,
I know that sometimes he’s right.
So in order to show him that I do see him,
That I do listen to him and think about him,
His interests and his needs,
I’ll often search the internet for amazing wildlife photos of the animals I know he loves and adores.
He is a child of nature.
And he loves all creatures big and small.
This is his way of coping.
And I love taking the time to see, appreciate and understand the sense of wonder that still exists within his precious soul.
And this is your mother’s way of saying she’s watching over and loving you just as much too <3
I see your true colors,
Even when others don’t!
Love isn’t in your eyes baby girl,
It’s in your heart.
- To the New Mother of a Baby with Down syndrome (not-alone.org)
- Beautiful – Infinite (Lyrics by Nam Woohyun) (mandyxxdrgn.wordpress.com)
Okay….. So today lets look at the positives of parenting a special needs child…….
- Mom organizes prom for kids with disabilities (kvue.com)
- 6 Secrets from a Special Needs Mom (blogher.com)
- 6 Secrets Special Needs Moms Know But WON”T Tell You (specialneedsmom.typepad.com)