Don’t water it down;
Don’t try to make it logical;
Don’t edit your own soul,
According to the fashion.
“I am one of the searchers.
We are not unhappy,
But neither are we really content.
We continue to explore life,
Hoping to uncover its ultimate secret.
We continue to explore ourselves,
Hoping to understand.
We like to walk along the beach,
We are drawn by the ocean,
Taken by its power,
Its unceasing motion,
Its mystery and unspeakable beauty.
We like forests and mountains,
Deserts and hidden rivers,
And the lonely cities as well.
Our sadness is as much a part of our lives,
As is our laughter.
To share our sadness with one we love,
Is perhaps as great a joy,
As we can know,
Unless it be to share,
We searchers are ambitious,
Only for life itself,
For everything beautiful it can provide.
Most of all we love and want to be loved.
We want to live in a relationship,
That will not impede our wandering,
Nor prevent our search,
Nor lock us in prison walls;
That will take us for what little we have to give.
We do not want to prove ourselves to another,
Or compete for love.
For wanderers, dreamers, and lovers,
For lonely men and women who dare to ask of life,
Everything good and beautiful.
Are those of us,
Who are too gentle,
To live among,
Words by James Kavanaugh
Artwork by Naotahattroi.com
“I read her eyes like paragraphs
And her tears like chapters,
For she didn’t have much to say,
And never let them tell you,
For silence is what happens,
When words fall asleep
And you must carry,
That one day,
Inside of you.”
Words by Christopher Poindexter.
Artwork by Daniela Hallgren.
“I am filled with things and I battle feelings,
I have never wanted to exist inside of me.
I lack too much confidence and I carry,
Too much sadness,
And my body is full of stars,
That never learned their names.
I wear my insecurities,
And I fill them,
With my fears,
And my hands are growing tired,
From reaching down into them to hold,
The feeling of being afraid.
I am afraid.
Afraid like chimes,
When the wind lips,
Afraid like your eyes,
When the stars,
Fall asleep in the black.
Afraid like dreams,
When they realize they are just dreams,
And that reality,
Is that one scar that will never,
Terrified that the things inside me,
Are the things that will keep me,
From ever finding a home,
Inside someone else.”
Words by Christopher Poindexter. Artwork by Carne Griffit.
Our lives are no longer about learning how to survive the storm,
Instead we’re now stepping out of the shadows,
That were cast upon us,
By the ignorance of others,
And we’re teaching ourselves and each other,
How to dance, splash and play,
In the colors of life….
And as we dance, splash and play,
We are helping one another,
To reconnect the dots,
Yet we are not twisted and we are not bad….
We are all alone because too few have bothered to try and understand us……
So few in fact that we are often told that we need ‘fixing’…..
Yet deep inside we know that we’re not broken….
We are merely different….
Given all of that….
It’s little wonder….
That we have our moments,
Of feeling all alone,
The gifts Autism brings us,
And I have discussed,
The emerging realization,
As a neurological,
It is the fire,
Being the fire,
Words by John Robison
I feel like a lone soldier lost on the battlefield of life.
No one hears my silent cries.
I have a great fear of death,
And an even greater fear of life.
1 constantly struggle to break through your steel armor,
And capture the spirit inside.
I live one second at a time,
Sometimes I think I’m invincible.
Yet as tough as I try to be,
Something always manages to touch my heart,
And keep it soft and vulnerable.
I have a solid steel faith in the future.
1 am physically stronger than anyone.
I carry the weight of the entire world on my shoulders.
I have mastered the art of suppressing my raging anger.
I hunger for any knowledge that is unavailable.
I have an overwhelming appreciation for the finer things in life;
Those things of highest quality:
A dewdrop on a blade of grass,
A roaring thunderstorm,
A mud puddle,
And the touch of sand on bare feet.
I am the most isolated person on earth.
I am cast aside by my family and friends,
Yet admired and viewed reverently by them.
I am the most selfish and most self-sacrificing person alive.
I can laugh and know complete joy,
And simultaneously hold an ocean of tears.
I have grieved more than a nation:
I carry constant pain in my heart.
I know true happiness is loving unconditionally,
Loving and not being loved back,
A straight line,
A meal that stays on the table,
Eyes looking to me not through me,
A spoken word,
A response to a single command,
A teardrop or silence.
I am often criticized and pitied.
I am not all that I can be or want to be.
1 keep searching the haunted castle of a beautiful mind.
I am alone;
I am the tiniest whisper in the thunderous echo of time.
I am the parent of an autistic child.
These amazingly honest and haunting words belong to Peggie and I thank her sincerely for allowing me to craft them into a poem.