If you’re a woman who feels that you don’t ‘fit in’ with those around you….
Or that you have always been, somehow, just that little bit different to everybody else…
Or that you never seem to see things the way others do….
Never seem to find the right words…
Or know instinctively the right social cues to follow at any given time….
Or you’re a shy, introvert who loves her family and seeks little experience from the outside world…
Or even if you simply feel, as if you are an actress, caught somehow on the outside of your own life….
Always looking in, but rarely truly, outwardly taking part……
Then chances are you’re not likely to admit it out loud to anyone, for fear of being thought of as strange, depressive or delusional.
As women, we’re encouraged not to express our discontentment at the world.
That to do so would mark us out as maladaptive in some spectacularly, psychologically, disturbing way.
We’ve been told for so long that we’re not allowed to admit to feeling socially awkward, shy or simply genuinely disinterested in the pantomime of other people’s lives as they go on all around us, that in order to cope some of us have chosen instead to pretend.
To mimic that which we’re told we should say, be and do.
Which is fine for a while…… but only a while….
Eventually, those of us who genuinely feel as if we don’t ‘fit in’ or that we are ‘different’ in some unknown way to everybody else, will head off in search of answers.
For an increasing number of women, those answers are being found within the growing body of knowledge surrounding the way in which Asperger’s Syndrome presents in women and girls.
More and more women are, if not self-identifying with Asperger’s, then at the very least beginning to question whether or not their quirks and unconventional character traits, (which in the past would never have been spoken of and hidden away), are consistent with the presentation of Asperger’s Syndrome in women.
Yet even throughout this process of questioning the self, which for many can become an outright mission to find the answers that have eluded them, women who suspect that they may be Aspies, are still experiencing a severe lack of understanding and acceptance from those who are the professionals in the field.
Women in their waves, are now crashing up against the harshness of psychologists, whose glory days are so far away from the realities of the here and now, that they are unable to turn their gaze away from the hazy thinking of the past, long enough to truly listen and engage with what it is that the women of today have to say.
Let alone even begin to understand why they are saying it.
As a consequence of this, many women are either being turned away and denied a diagnosis or worse still, being misdiagnosed with some errant version of a personality disorder, by those who should know better, yet still remain unable to refrain from placing the blame of every woman’s “affliction” on some variant of depression.
The damage this form invalidation is causing to a subset of women, who have already lived at least half of their lives, feeling so out-of-place that they’ve had to hide who they really are and what they really feel, is immeasurable.
Yet despite this onslaught of diagnostic invalidation, women with undiagnosed Asperger’s are not going away.
Instead they are taking to forums, forming alliances and sharing their all too familiar stories, with each other.
And the more they share, they more they are becoming aware that they are not alone.
That this is happening to women everywhere, from every variant of socio-economic background, culture and region.
There is a wave of officially undiagnosed women with Asperger’s Syndrome out there, treading water, not too far from shore, just waiting their turn and sooner or later, they will land.
- Women with Asperger’s Syndrome (seventhvoice.wordpress.com)
- Tony Attwood – The Pattern of Abilities and Development for Girls with Asperger’s syndrome (seventhvoice.wordpress.com)
- ‘Doctors are ‘failing to spot Asperger’s in girls’ – article by Amelia Hill (seventhvoice.wordpress.com)
- What about girls with Asperger’s syndrome? (seventhvoice.wordpress.com)
- Finding the Positives – Women with Asperger’s Syndrome at peace with being different – An Interview with the Indomitable Rose Guedes and Iris Gray -Written by Richard Watts (seventhvoice.wordpress.com)
- Parody – The Problem With Fitting In For Women With Aspergers Syndrome (seventhvoice.wordpress.com)
- Tony Attwood – The Pattern of Abilities and Development for Girls with Asperger’s Syndrome (reflectionsonlifethusfar.wordpress.com)
- Asperger’s Syndrome in Women: A Different Set of Challenges?….. By Chatherine Faherty. (seventhvoice.wordpress.com)