The gifts of being an Asper Girl – Why obsessions aren’t necessarily a bad thing.


The Girl who couldn’t seek skin

“She loved him, though no one knew why.

“He is not of her equal; not of her kind.”

But what no one knew,

Was this one thing:

She was the girl,

Who couldn’t see skin.”

Written by Coco .J. Ginger

Whenever I read these words, I instantly think of my daughter and of how Asper Girls just like her, have a tendency to develop such strong passions for people, places and things that often go well beyond the need to see skin.

Whether it be a favorite, toy, an item of clothing, a blanket, a pet or an animated creation  like the digital avatars found on the ‘Sims’, Asper Girls often seem to have the ability to create deep emotional attachments to things that other people find hard to comprehend.

As a result of their abilities to forge such deep attachments to inanimate  objects, their passions are often described as ‘obsessions’.

But I don’t think lumbering Asper Girls with the idea that they suffer from having uncontrollable ‘obsession’ does them any justice at all.

I think instead, that Asper Girls are not experiencing ‘obsessions’ but rather they are forming deep emotional connections to things in ways that others just simply may not be able to comprehend.

For my daughter, the sort of deep emotional connections to inanimate objects that she forms, are to be found within the characters she creates on the computer game the ‘Sims’.

She can and often will, if left unprompted, spend hours and hours, even entire days, creating their avatars, constructing their homes,  their gardens, their pets, their friends, their wardrobes and virtually anything else she can think of that might make them feel more comfortable in their pixellated world.

She talks to them, creates entire personal histories for them and has been known to lament for hours on end over the fact that she herself cannot speak ‘Simian’.

To her, these artificial beings are very much a part of her world and there’s no doubt in my mind that she has formed a deep emotional connection with them.

After all they have become her ever-present friends in a world in which her lack of understanding others, and their lack in understanding her, can often leave her reeling.

So her artificial friends, those silly little avatars that many would consider to be nothing more than brief flights of fantasy, provide her with a great source of comfort and connection, especially on those days when everything just seems to be too much for her.

So I don’t consider the affinity she has with the characters on her game to be signs of ‘obsessional behavior’ at all.

Rather I view the connection she has with her Sims as evidence that she not only has the ability to engage in imaginative play, but that she is also developing that rare skill of being able to take a vision from her mind and make it ‘real’.

In doing so I believe she is displaying the gift of creativity.

And in my book, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that at all.

7 thoughts on “The gifts of being an Asper Girl – Why obsessions aren’t necessarily a bad thing.

  1. What you describe IS great, and good for her for having this ability to use her imagination so effectively. My autistic son also has a great imagination, and is quite attached to certain animes that he can watch on the internet. The only drawback I see in it all is if something disappears from his ability to view it (on Youtube for instance) or if something breaks (the computer) or goes offline. The problem with becoming attached to inanimate objects is that nothing lasts forever, and it is so heartbreaking when they lose it, for whatever reason.

  2. My daughter is very attached to her villagers in Animal Crossing. When Kyle moved out of her town she cried for days! She still talks about it, and is trying to find him in others towns to get him to move back.

  3. I never really gave it a thought until reading this…I brought my three favorite childhood dolls to college with me when I was a freshman..They have traveled with me my entire life…I look the dolls up on line to see the rest of them that I never had, I probably seem obsessed with them. They taught me to sew, and relate to others and that is a good thing!

  4. thanks for this article its so nice to hear someone not punishing you for loving them for a change! (especially after being dumped for loving a boyfriend who was an Aspie and should know better and all I did was be a loyal friend to him, support his music career -his special interest – never told him i loved him or anything and yet he’s barred me from ever seeing him again and spread horrible rumours about me.)

  5. I’m another Aspie that loves “The Sims” games! I love that it’s like a living Dollhouse, I can build their homes, create them and guide them though their “lives”. There is just one thing that I find challenging with the Sims, their social relationships. One of my Sims wanted to give her child a gift, the child rejected the gift, explaining that she didn’t know the adult well enough to accept a gift from her! I was thinking “excuse me, she’s your mother?!” I checked their relationship bar, and sure enough, it was pretty much non-existent! You see, my characters pretty much do their own thing, I focus on certain goals, and rarely socialize them enough to sustain a relationship! Hmmm…..sounds familiar!

    I’ve decided not to get involved with “The Sims 4”, they have made the Sims more “emotional” and their moods are dramatically more intense if they don’t get their social needs met! My Sims would be majorly depressed all the time, where’s the fun in that? 😉

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