A Day in the Life – Doing things differently.

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Over the last few years I’ve become increasingly aware that the way I go about my daily life has a tendency to either annoy or confuse other people.

No matter what I’m doing, I always appear to be doing it wrong.

Take shopping and bill paying for example.

I’ll choose one day out of the week to go off into town and do absolutely everything that needs doing in one big hit.

This often includes paying bills ahead of time simply because I have no idea whether or not I’ll actually feel like going out on the day that the bills are actually due.

Standing in line and waiting my turn to be served by real life people inside a bank, rather than using ATM’s as I really don’t like the idea of withdrawing money out of a machine on the side of a street.

I also insist on paying for all of my purchases in cash and in person rather than using internet banking or being tempted to buy something over the phone with a credit card.

By the way, I actually don’t even have a credit card as I see no point in going into debt just to buy something that I obviously cannot genuinely afford.

No, if I can’t pay for it in cash, then I’ll either wait and save up for it or I simply won’t buy it and no amount of gimmicky popularity tripe will make me change my mind on that

According to my sister, I’ve also developed the bad habit of grossly over shopping.

Only, I don’t see it as a bad habit at all.

I see it as common sense to buy all regularly used items or any items of use that happen to be on special, in bulk, whilst grocery shopping.

Yes this means that my trips to the supermarket often take much longer than your average person’s do, but I’d rather struggle with an overly laden trolley than face the horrors of having to return to the store later in the day, or even later in the week, simply because I’ve run out of something.

Once all the bills are paid and the banking and the shopping are done, I like to decompress for an hour or so inside of the only building in town that I actually like being in.

My local library.

For me, no trip into town could ever be complete without raiding the local library for as many books and DVD’s as they’ll let me leave with.

The thrill of returning home and bolting up my lane way is only dampened by the reminder that I’ve yet to face the thankless task of unloading the car of all of the bags of groceries I’ve brought and then in turn unpack their contents away in to cupboards.

So that when my children come home, it looks to them as if I’ve been nowhere and done nothing all day, as the car is back safely in its garage and all of the shopping bags have been removed from sight.

Yes, the irony of it all bites.

Despite the fact that everything that needs to get done does actually get done, my family and friends keep questioning why it is that I continue to insist on venturing into town only one day per week.

Especially when it means that doing so equates to me becoming completely exhausted and overwhelmed by the world.

They continually tell me that trying to do everything that needs to be done all in one day is completely nonsensical and they insist on questioning me as to why I keep doing it.

Yet the answer to me is really quite a simple one and I cannot understand why they can’t see it.

You see, for me, the very idea, let alone the reality of having to go into town, is, in and of itself, so overwhelming that I can only face it if I know that I’ll only have to do it once.

I wish that I could tell them that once a week is quite enough, thank them for their concern and tell them to just go away and leave me to it.

Without offending them !

Even though they seem to have no concerns about offending me by telling me how silly I am for doing the things I do.

Once again the irony bites.

I wonder why it is, that just because I do things differently, I’m often automatically seen as doing things wrong, or in the wrong way.

This idea that if someone’s doing things differently to them, then the different person is automatically wrong, seems to be a default position for some people

Have you noticed this and if so, how do you deal with it.

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11 thoughts on “A Day in the Life – Doing things differently.

  1. Oh I absolutely love this post and can completely relate to so much of it! I too find the credit card culture a little strange, if I got the money we don’t get it, it’s simples! I do everything I can to avoid going into town, it just isn’t my thing, and makes perfect sense to me to dart in do all the things I need to do and then get the hell out again, I do not want to do two trips, no thank you!
    Also like you I can relate to that feeling that I am some how doing things different to the rest of the world, i’m not entirely sure I do deal with it anymore, I think I learnt to ignore others, politely of course. I embrace who I am now, I embrace my beliefs they are me, and yes it does often make me different, but that’s okay the world would be boring if we were all the same. 🙂 Brilliant post.

    1. Thank you so much for your response Blossom. So nice to know I’m not the only one out there feeling out of sync with the majority. Also great to know that I am not the only non credit card holder in a world that seems to be heading more and more into financial debt. Great to hear from you. Cheers Seventh.

  2. Oh what a lovely person you are! Despite all the frustration you feel you are able to write about it in such a caring way that shews how much you love your family, even though they behave to you in that way!
    I am an old Aspie and have come to realise over a long life that we shouldn’t take what others say about us as criticism of us, but as a lack of understanding on their part, which unfortunately they cannot help; rather like a puppy one is training that is obviously doting on you, trying hard but just doesn’t quite get it!

    What I think we need to do is to ‘own’ our autism! Accept that others just won’t quite see how it works and just smile knowingly to ourselves when they shew themselves up for being too much of the crowd; while you are above it – being able to do things your way and not follow the crowd.

    There is nothing wrong with us, we are just that bit more organised and able to deal with the way we are.

    Your routine is so-o-o sensible! No credit is a great way to be, economy where possible – buying bargains and being efficient by only using the car for the one trip instead of spending more on the fuel for repeated trips and thereby paying more than you are saving with your bargains!

    What you do is the way it works for you. That immediately puts you a step above the crowd. What you need to do now is to own it, and be confident you are right. Let them have their say and just smile inwardly at their lack of understanding. You know better!

    I learned long ago that if one takes one differences and makes them a part of who you are, then people accept that you are different, but the important thing is that they accept it.

    We really have no need to justify how we are to anyone. If anyone tells me I am different, strange, or weird, then I take that as a big compliment.

  3. I do many things in a similar way to yourself. No one has told me that I’m wrong, though I haven’t been asked about it. The paying bills all in one go, teller v. ATM, ‘massive attack’ shopping strategies… they’re all energy and emotion conservers for me so I’m pretty sure we’re okay and other folks just need to figure that out 🙂

    1. I totally agree Karin. Love the term ‘massive attack’ shopping strategies, because that’s exactly what they are. Thank you so much for your brilliant response. Cheers Seventh.

  4. Greetings my friend,

    What a lovely post this is. What you have described something that I’ve experienced my entire life. And like you I’m always being told that I’m doing something wrong or I do things differently or people don’t or won’t see things the way I see them. It used to frustrate me to no avail being ill fitted in even the smallest of social circles. It’s taken some time, but I no longer feel that way.

    What I’ve learned over the past few years through observations of generalized human nature is most humans are prone to seeing what they perceive as wrong with others while exhibiting an acute inability to see their own faults; even if their fault is always seeing fault in others. So what I do is acknowledge that we are all different, beautifully diverse. I accept that fact that people are annoyed with the way I do things just as I am equally annoyed about by them. Annoyed or not, being able to accept diversity in the behaviors of people I know is freeing and comforting. Even thought they tell me I’m strange and too find them equally strange. I may not voice my opinion, but it makes me smile inside to acknowledge it. I don’t get so angry about being perceived as different, because I am being just as I was created to be. This makes me happy.

    So I think the key to dealing with humans is not to focus on what they think of you or even what you thing of them; just know and love how you do things and keep being your beautiful, genuine, organic self. One day someone will come along who completely appreciates you for who you are and how you “be”.

    1. Autismslove, thank you so much for your delightful and insightful response. You are so right. Most people are too focused on the faults they see in others. I wish everyone could get out of their own way just long enough to catch a glimpse of what the world could be like if we all stopped this nonsense of judging one another. It’s truly great to hear from you again. Hope you are having a wonderful day. Cheers Seventh.

  5. “Standing in line and waiting my turn to be served by real life people inside a bank, rather than using ATM’s”
    Aha! I love stuff like this…as i realize, once again, others do the same thing!
    I always go in…can’t stand ‘drive thrus’, either….and having to talk (or, in my case stutter and stumble over my words)…while a person inside tries to make sense of my incoherent speaking…
    Going inside…I know that , standing face to face with someone…they will easily understand what I am saying.

    I totally get the no-credit card thing…even if many people say their reason for having one has nothing to do with ‘going into debt’…(the airline miles, the ‘convenience’)…i still don’t get it…

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