We’re Women with Autism – Not Mystical Imps, Sprites or Fairies….. Get it right.

Artwork by Devushka

Artwork by Devushka

Sorry to disappoint all of those who wish to believe that Women with Autism are made out of some kind of unique fairy dust that endows all of us with “special talents” or “super powers”, because we are not magical beings.

We are Women Wired Differently…. not Women Wired Magically.

Please stop confusing our different skill sets, ie, our tendency to focus on the finer details of life that often make us more likely to pick up on the inconsistencies that are usually hidden within the bigger picture that people present to us, with being the equivalent of having a “super power”, “gift”, “unearned talent” or whatever else some would like to call it.

The truth is, that for us, our intense focus on fine details, whilst it may have started out as a fascination, has also become a survival mechanism.

Our intense focus is not magical. It’s practical. It’s what we do when we can’t “read” a person’s level of sincerity simply by looking into their eyes, listening for and recognizing the tonality in their voice or knowing automatically whether or not a smile is authentic at a glance.

Yes we may see the world in ways that others do not, but it’s still the same world and we’re still viewing it with eyes that are made up of all of the same biological matter as everyone else’s eyes are.

Yes at times it may seem as if we see more, but that’s not because we’re psychic beings floating about in fairy dust, it’s simply because we look harder and longer at the simplest of gestures, in order to decipher and makes sense of them for ourselves.

When we feel an emotion, we often feel it deeply but that’s not because we’re “super empaths” or somehow magically connected to the pain of another, it’s because we feel in fine detail too.

Yes we have a degree of empathy for others that may run deeper than most, but that’s not because we’re psychic, it’s because we’re focused.

Just as we focus visually and intellectually on the finer points that others may have missed, we can also focus our feelings on the finer points of emotions that others may have by passed.

We feel all of our emotions often simultaneously specifically because we live our lives without the benefit of having the filters that other people apply to their thoughts, their feelings, even their ways of seeing.

Which is why we can become so overwhelmed by our emotions that it makes it difficult for us to talk about or even explain them.

The depth of our feelings does not make us magical beings simply because we can feel that which we cannot explain.

It in no way means that we are magical beings. It simply means that we are unfiltered beings.

We’re not made up of different stuff or fairy dust at all. We just don’t have a way of filtering out the world around us the way that other people do.

I know that some would like to believe that this state of affairs somehow also makes us “purer beings”…. but does it?

Does it really?

And isn’t the idea of “purity” also linked to “innocence”, which is also linked to “children”…. as in the “innocence of a child”…….

Just think about it. We’re not magical, we’re not pure and we’re not children. We’re Women who take in and understand the world differently simply because we see it differently.

Do we really want the realities of our lives as Autistic Women being overlooked and marginalized simply because we’re being linked to the infantile ideals and imagery that being viewed as either ‘supernatural’ or ‘overtly innocent beings’, brings along with it?

 

Autism – What will I gain from being diagnosed later in life? It won’t change anything for me, so why should I bother?”

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People often ask me: “What will I gain from being diagnosed later in life? It won’t change anything for me, so why should I bother?”

Well, my answer as to whether or not anyone should “bother” to get diagnosed is this.

Firstly, on a purely personal level, it depends entirely on what your personal circumstances are and what the biggest issues are that you’re facing at any given point in time.

If you’re a person who’s main problem is that you’re always feeling misunderstood or blamed by your family member for being the way that you are, then perhaps receiving a formal diagnosis may help your family members to comprehend and accept that some of the onus for understanding both who and how you are, falls upon them to make more of an effort to accept you as you are, rather than allowing them to continue to always view you as being the one who needs to change.

Secondly, if you find that you may be in need of some form of formal support or assistance, then receiving a diagnosis may help you to better be able to access whatever support systems are in place within your area.

A diagnosis should also, at the very least, help others around you to become aware that you are genuinely more in need of care, understanding and support than they had previously thought.

Thirdly, if you want to increase your own levels self-understanding and awareness or further seek to validate your own understandings of yourself as being both true and accurate, then receiving a diagnosis may also provide these assurances for you.

But, if you are a strong-willed person who is confident enough to be able to self-identify with having Asperger’s, without feeling any twinges of doubt about it what so ever, then you’ll most likely feel that either the seeking out, or the receiving a diagnosis, is not for you as it holds little potential to offer you any great benefits.

And that’s okay.

But for me, I have found that those who benefit the most from older women such as myself coming forward and being diagnosed, are the generations of girls who are yet to come and the generation of girls and women who are still today, young enough to incorporate this deeper understanding of themselves as females who are Autistic,  into their daily lives and move on.

At my age, receiving a formal diagnosis offers me purely the ability to understand myself better and enables me to finally ask for the things I’ve known for so long that I’ve needed all of my life, things such as solitude, peace and quiet, but have never been made to feel as if it were okay for me to ask for these things, because I am a woman and women are supposed to love company and to always want to be social creatures.

I had no way of explaining to anyone, let alone myself, why I’ve always felt that I needed so much time alone.

Yet for girls of my daughter’s age, receiving a diagnosis is offering them so much more.

It is offering them the opportunity of being able to grow up with the gift of truly knowing not only who they are, but also understanding how they are, and that they’re okay.

That it’s okay to be different.

And this to me, as both a woman and a mother, is the gift of understanding that I truly believe is worth fighting for.

I am so glad that there were women in the past who had the strength, courage and forethought, to lead the way forward and to lay the foundations that so many of us today are now standing on, by arguing, on our behalf’s, that High Functioning Female Autism is a very real phenomenon.
Believe me when I tell you that I am all too aware that if no woman had ever dared challenge the male based status quo of the understandings of Asperger’s Syndrome of the past, that neither my daughter nor I, would now be diagnosed.

So how exactly does receiving a diagnosis later in life help anyone and what does it solve anyway even if you do get one?

Well, for one thing, it is likely to allow many women to make sense of their pasts.

To knit all of the previously unresolved elements of their lives, their personalities, their characteristics and their traits, into some semblance of a perspective that will finally make sense to them.

So if that one singular perspective that makes sense of your life is the one thing that you’ve been missing, then getting a diagnosis, even at a much later stage in life, can still provide you with a huge feeling of relief.

In terms of gaining greater access to benefits and assistance, if you are already financially secure or successfully working, then no, receiving a diagnosis later in life, may not help you in any way in terms of on the job support training and alike.

But what it will do, is benefit your children, and your children’s children.

And if you’re not a mother yourself, then please understand that your actions and your choices, may end up benefiting your sister’s or your brother’s children.

The knowledge and validity that we as women gain from receiving a formal diagnosis, could well prevent future generations of girls from having to put up with the kinds of constant bullying that are caused by male bias ignorance.

This will enable them to grow up holding all of the answers to all of the questions that we once, as children held locked inside of our own heads, like fragile eggs, and were too afraid to ask why it was that we were so different from everybody else.

If being diagnosed later in life can help to take away from another child, that awful sense of confusion and self-loathing that comes from knowing that they don’t belong, without ever fully knowing or understanding why, then I’m all for it.

So whilst a formal diagnosis may not seem to be such an important deal individually, in the grand scheme of things, I can see how each and every woman and girl, diagnosed today, can help create a stronger, better defined and more brightly lit path, for our Autistic girls of the future to walk upon.

Unlike us, they won’t have to spend over half of their lifetimes stumbling around in the deep and uncertain dark, and that’s a good thing.

I’m not sure whether holding ideas like these makes me a dreamer, or simply yet another deluded fool.

Either way, the more women and girls who are diagnosed today, the harder it will be for the powers that be, to dismiss the needs of Autistic Women in the future.

I understand that this way of looking at things is not everybody’s cup of tea, but it certainly is mine. So comment and let me know whether or not you agree.

Autism – Is it really our duty to educate you?

Artwork by San Base

Many within the Autism community seem to feel that we have a duty to help educate ‘professionals’ by exposing our own personal experiences of Autism to them with in Autism specific forums.

Personally I’m not at all sure that I agree with this premise, as it all too often holds the potential to place  those of us with Autism,  in the unenviable  positions of feeling over exposed.

Which for many, can also amount to making us feel vulnerable.

The belief that it’s up to any one particular minority group to educate the wider community in order to create the understanding that they have the right to be treated as equals, is an issue that many other minority groups have faced.

And just like those within the Autism Community, many other minority groups have also had to cut their teeth on the harsh reality that not everyone who’s interested in you, is genuinely trying to help or understand you.

For example, back in the late 70’s, early 80’s, a male a researcher who was interested in researching gay males, pretended to be a gay man himself in order to win their trust,  and acted as “lookout” for them in bathrooms and public venues, whilst at the same time recording details of their interactions with each other.

He  then began following them back to their cars, taking down their number plates and with the help of a friend in the DMV, used that additional information to track down their real names and addresses so that he could turn up at the homes of these men, some of whom were married, and proceeded to blackmail them in order to gain more personal information about their lives, habits and preferences, all in the name of  his “groundbreaking” new research.

Since then, it has been widely recognized by governing bodies, that lying, deceiving or in any way attempting to befriend or pretend to be a member of a minority group in order to attain personal information, is not just morally and ethically wrong but also potentially emotionally, psychologically and in some instances, even physically harmful.

Yet despite this, there are still members within the Autism Community who seek to enable and even justify the actions of professionals who routinely intrude upon the privacy of those within our community, by saying that ‘we as Autist’s need to teach professionals the truth about Autism’.

Yet I believe it is wrong for everyone within the Autism Community to constantly be made to feel as if it’s up to “us”  to teach those who are often in positions of power over us, the truth of Autism via the revelations, either intentional or otherwise, of our own personal experiences.

This belief presents many within the Autism Community with a false sense of security because it implies that all ‘professionals’ are trustworthy individuals who are  not only capable of viewing and understanding individuals with Autism as they wish to be viewed and understood, but are also willing to fly in the face of past theoretical frameworks, in order to genuinely present new research.

Yet, the truth is, those of us within the Autism Community, have no way of knowing for sure, whether or not said ‘professionals’ are intending to do either of these things.

Time and time again, it has been shown that those researching Autism often can and do, come up with new twists on the same old theories that many of us have found to be repugnant, simply in order to make a name for themselves.

Whenever such instances occur, we feel betrayed, lied too and let down.

And it is only after the fact that we realize all too late, that we’ve either misinterpreted their ‘professionals’ interest in us, or understand that they’ve misrepresented their intentions towards us in the first place.

Which ever way it goes, it’s always left to those of us who are not too afraid, or who have not been made to feel too vulnerable, to speak out.

Many of us lose friends along the way in doing so, as it can be difficult for others to understand exactly why and how another person may feel betrayed by participating openly within what they had assumed to be an Autism only group.

So insidious has the automatic acceptance of the “right” of ‘well meaning professionals’ to lurk within our groups for the purposes of ‘educating themselves’ become, that many no longer question it.

Yet I don’t believe that research ‘professionals’ have anymore  “rights” to interact with ASD specific groups than a gynecologist  would automatically retain the ‘right’ to interact within feminist groups, simply because they contain women who may discuss their private anatomy.

I think it’s time we took on board the lessons that have already been learned regarding the pitfalls of allowing professionals to engage with us so easily and without restrictions of any kind at all, on the internet.

I think it’s time we stopped thinking about Autism in terms of our perceived duty to try to educate our way into acceptance and equality and instead focused on protecting the “rights” of those within our community to feel safe, to remain free from harm and to not be taken advantage of by others when participating in online ASD groups.

We, as a community, need to keep in mind, that not everyone with Autism is either fully informed of the participation of ‘professionals’ within ASD groups, nor aware of the potential consequences of sharing highly personal information within such groups, should anyone within them hold any alterior motives for doing so.

Wouldn’t it be far easier for those who wish to engage with ‘professionals’ on the internet in order to ‘teach them the truth about Autism’,  to actually do so in groups that are openly and specifically  designed for that purpose?

Rather than allowing ‘professionals’ access to any and all ASD groups without question?

Wouldn’t it be easier, if we as a community, made a stand and decided that ASD specific groups should remain exactly that, ASD specific.

Just a thought.

 

Artwork by San Base

Respecting the Views and Opinions of Individuals on the Autism Spectrum

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Whilst many ‘professionals’ appear to view their inclination to seek to interact within public forums, such as f/b pages and groups that have been specifically designed for individuals with Autism, as acceptable behavior, a growing number of people within the Autism Community are beginning to question the validity of this.

Personally, before a professional chooses to engage in an ASD forum, I think they need to sit down and ask themselves a few honest questions regarding both their motives for participating within ASD groups and what it is they wish to communicate by engaging in them.

I also think they need to be able to ask themselves questions such as – How would they feel if someone they’d assessed had a negative opinion of their methods or skills and posted their concerns / complaints on a public forum that they as a professional, were a part of?

Would being faced with a situation like this make them, as professionals, feel uncomfortable?

Would they, as professionals, be able to accept such input as constructive criticism?

Would they as professionals, wish to respond to the individuals concerns, within that public forum format?

Would it even be appropriate for them to respond to an individual’s concerns, as a professional, within such a public format?

As professionals, would they be able to respect that forums for individuals with ASD’s are first and foremost there to enable those who need to express their views openly and honestly, the opportunity to do so without recrimination?

Or would they as professionals, feel the need to fire back at the individual concerned?

Why do professionals, even feel that they have the right to be privy to opinions and concerns that any individual with Autism may have regarding them, if those concerns are being posted in forums designed specifically for people with ASD to share such concerns?

For me, this is what many of the issues concerning the participation of professionals in ASD specific forums, groups and pages, all boils down too.

If professionals can’t honestly answer that they wouldn’t be offended by an individual with ASD’s right to hold and express an opinion on them as a professional within a public ASD forum, without firing back at that person, then they shouldn’t be there.

If professionals can’t maintain the understanding that many people with ASD feel the need to discuss their personal experiences, and that many of those personal experiences will also incorporate the expression of negative past or present experiences regarding areas of practice such as psychology and mental health services, without taking it personally or attacking the individuals concerned, then perhaps they need to consider the possibility that they, as professionals, really shouldn’t be engaging in forums that are not designed for them, yet all too often end up including them, almost by default, simply because professionals are attracted to them.

Autism Is Not Gender Specific – Our Society Is….

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The labeling of  Women who do not fit neatly within the confines of society, as being ‘nutty’, ‘weird’, ‘batty’, ‘anti-social’, ‘loners’, ‘reclusive introverts’ or ‘eccentric’, when they may indeed be experiencing undiagnosed Female Autism, creates the kind of life long harm that ensnares Undiagnosed Autistic Women forever, within the confines of an artificially imposed, yet personally experienced prison, of societies making.

It’s high time that  the name calling, isolation and double standards that lead to the abandonment and  misdiagnosis of Women with undiagnosed Autism stopped.

It should no longer be considered acceptable for our society to be encouraged to acknowledge only those presentations of  Autism that fit within the confines of Male Autism.

Autism is not a Male only condition.

Yet still today, if a male exhibits peculiar behaviors, or behaviors that are viewed as being out of the norm for males, they are automatically considered for an assessment of Autism. 

Their behaviors are both attributed too, and understood as being part and parcel of  the presentation of Male Autism, even before that assessment takes place.

As such, Autistic behaviors in males are considered excusable, simply because it’s perceived that they may be on the Autism spectrum.

Yet, when a Female exhibits similar sets of peculiar behaviors, or behaviors that are viewed as being out of the norm for females,  she’s considered by others to be ‘weird’,’ unruly’, ‘unfeminine’,”highly strung’,’ intentionally disruptive’, ‘rude’, ‘bossy’ or ‘deliberately seeking attention’.

The one thing  Women’s behaviors  never seem to be automatically considered for, is an Assessment for Autism.

As a result, most Females on the Spectrum (either diagnosed or undiagnosed)  are often punished socially, emotionally, economically and psychologically,  for behaviors that they themselves may have no idea are unwelcome or are breaching social expectations.

Many girls and women are not even aware that they are on the Autism Spectrum until much later in life.

Nor unfortunately, are the people who often surround them in their daily lives.

Even their families, friends and peers often fall into the trap of  re-attributing or reconstructing,  the traits of Autism in  Women, as personal behaviors that arise due to a perceived lack of self-discipline, ambition, sociability, maturity and in many cases, even sanity.

In short, when it comes to Women and Autism, it still seems that the overwhelming propensity amongst many in society is to perceive Female Autistic traits as evidence, not of Autism as they do in Males, but as evidence of some kind of personal female weakness, fault or issue.

This results in the re-labeling of Female Autistic behavior as being anything but…Autistic.

It seems that it is still far easier for those within our society to re-label Autistic Women with any number of demeaning personal faults, than it is to open their eyes to the possibility that the rates of Autism amongst Women, particularly older women, are much higher than anyone dared previously imagine.

Autism is not Gender Specific and therefore, nor should our understandings of it be.

Asperger’s Syndrome in Females – A biased perception.

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Tony Attwood (2006) observed that parents and teachers often send boys for evaluation at the point when their aggressive behaviour becomes a significant problem at home or school. The practice of making referrals based on acting out behaviour, means that overall, more boys will be evaluated, and the perception that aggressive behaviour is significant in AS may mean that parents and teachers overlook children who do not display disruptive behaviour (Attwood, 2006; Wagner, 2006). Girls, for example, may not have tantrums or meltdowns at school, but may instead, refuse to respond to requests or participate in activities (Wilkinson, 2008).

An often present feature in Asperger syndrome is an intense interest in one or more areas (Beteta, 2009), and long, encyclopaedic monologues, often on obscure subjects, are usually recognized as indicating a possible AS diagnosis in boys (Attwood, 2006). Findings suggest, though, that girls tend to have more age-appropriate interests, that generally reflect those of their peers, e.g., horses, or creative pursuits (Attwood, 2006; Beteta, 2009).

Attwood (2006) emphasizes, however, that the dominant role these interests play in the life of a girl with AS is qualitatively different from the role that the same interests play in the lives of her female peers. Attwood (2006) stresses further that a girl’s intense interests can extend well beyond an appropriate age,  and that this can help to determine abnormal intensity and focus.

Overall, these observations suggest that increased insight into how these interests function differently for girls with AS, may help to clarify diagnosis.

The use of social echolalia, i.e., mimicking others through imitation and modelling, exists almost exclusively in girls with Asperger syndrome  (Beteta, 2009; Wilkinson, 2008). In an effort to reduce their social and communication impairments, girls may copy the mannerisms, voice, persona, and behaviour of others, often quite successfully (Attwood, 2006).

However, Beteta (2009) points out that although girls may seem to benefit from the use of social echolalia, often they do not truly understand the contextual meanings of what they are mimicking.

Ryden and Bejolet (2008) found that adult females also seemed more successful at mimicking social behaviour than adult males, and for this reason, they rarely fit the original description of Asperger syndrome.

This suggests that the use of social echolalia may hinder the recognition and diagnosis of AS, and consequently, access to relevant support (Attwood, 2006), and that girls and women may experience increased stress in dealing with the consequences of mimicking behaviours that they may not quite understand.

Overall, a greater awareness of gender differences in phenotypic expression is vital so that girls will receive an accurate diagnosis, and access to services that could lessen the impact of AS, particularly beyond childhood.

Furthermore, as researchers discover the extent to which statistical gender differences translate into clinical significance, it is likely that support services will need modification to accommodate this new knowledge (Giarelli et al., 2010).

Differences in attitudes and behaviour towards females with Asperger Syndrome may also contribute to a delayed or missed diagnosis (Giarelli et al., 2010; Hartley & Sikora, 2009).

Attwood (2006) noticed that parents were more hesitant to seek a formal diagnosis if their daughters appeared to be functioning adequately, and that clinicians tended to hesitate in making a diagnosis unless the signs were quite conspicuous. This reinforces the observation made by Hully and Lamar (2006) that AS traits need to be exaggerated in females for a formal diagnosis.

In contrast to boys with AS, who are more often teased, ignored, or bullied by their male peers, girls more often experience support and even protection from some of their female peers, which could result in failure to recognize significant social impairments (Attwood, 2006). Beteta (2009) stresses that these friendships rely on the willingness of a girl’s peers, and accordingly, Rastam (2008) found that many girls with AS tended to have only one friendship that was usually tenuous in nature, and few peer relations overall.

In addition, the perception that many girls with Asperger syndrome seem to manage in social situations, can cause others to question the accuracy of diagnosis.

One result may be that when a girl exhibits behaviour common to AS, it is misunderstood as deliberate or wilful (Beteta, 2009), and she may not receive the necessary supports. Cooper and Hanstock (2009) found, for instance, that school staff continued to feel that Jane’s behaviour was “put on”, even after she received a diagnosis of Asperger syndrome.

Moreover, parents and teachers often connect social and functioning difficulties with intrinsic personality traits rather than to a developmental disorder like AS (Cooper & Hanstock, 2009). Specifically, they may misinterpret deficits in social skills, such as poor eye contact, as signs of shyness, embarrassment, or naivety (Wagner, 2006).

Girl’s social impairments, for example, are often misconstrued as stemming from their reserved natures, hence girls initially received an incorrect diagnosis of early onset anxiety disorder (Wilkinson, 2008).

In conclusion, there are a number of possible explanations for the 10:1 gender ratio in Asperger syndrome. Some think that the large number of diagnosed males accurately reflects natural sex differences in brain specialization, or points to sex-specific genetic susceptibility to AS (e.g., Baron-Cohen &Wheelwright, 2004; Jones et al., 2008).

Others believe that the current gender ratio misrepresents the incidence of AS in females (Thompson et al., 2003).

A biased perception of how AS presents may contribute to underdiagnosis (Attwood, 2006; Beteta, 2009), as many emphasize the overuse of a male prototype (e.g., Hully & Lamar, 2006; Thompson et al., 2003). Clinicians may attribute symptoms to psychiatric disorders more commonly seen in the general female population (Cooper & Hanstock, 2009; Rastam, 2008; Ryden & Bejolet, 2008), gender differences in phenotypic expression could mean that core impairments go unnoticed or are misinterpreted (Attwood, 2006; Beteta, 2009; Wilkinson, 2008), and the attitudes and behaviour of others towards females with AS may also contribute to underdiagnosis (Cooper & Hanstock, 2009; Wagner, 2006).

It is clear that one explanation for the uneven gender ratio is not sufficient on its own. The reasons are multifaceted and complex, and it is likely that other possibilities will emerge with additional research.

However, a greater understanding of gender differences in Asperger syndrome will likely play a large role in balancing the 10:1 ratio, as more females will receive an accurate diagnosis.

Written by A. MacMillan

The Gas-lighting of Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum

Artwork by Mirella Santana

Of all the traits attributed to Women on the Autism Spectrum, there remains one that not only continues to go unrecognized as a valid trait but has also suffered the fate of being reconstructed by professionals as a rationale for denying Women a diagnosis.

The trait I’m referring to is that of developing a strong sense of self-awareness.

In almost every description pertaining to the experiences of Women with Asperger’s Syndrome there is evidence of the development of an early, inexplicable sense of ‘otherness,’ to be found.

This sense of ‘otherness’ expands exponentially as girls grow older and develops into a keen sense of self-awareness.

Their strong sense of self-awareness in turn, increases their sensitivity toward any and all experiences that suggest or confirm their perceptions of themselves as different.

Undoubtedly, whilst at school, undiagnosed spectrum girls will find themselves showered, almost daily, with an endless array of situations that expose their responses and reactions as differing from those around them.

As a result, many spectrum girls may find it difficult to relate to their peers and feel that they have very little, if anything at all, in common with them.

Given that young girls are not yet bound by the pressure to conform, many will quiet happily choose to pursue their own interests instead of seeking to feign an interest in the activities of their peers.

Early schoolyard experiences can therefore be seen to reinforce and exacerbate the already strong sense of ‘otherness’ that many young girls on the spectrum feel yet do not necessarily view as being an issue for them.

It is not until the teenage years arrive that ‘feeling different’ truly becomes an issue.

During this time, the combined weight of parental, peer and societal pressures to conform begins to bear down on them.

Suddenly they find that any and all previous levels of tolerance and acceptance towards their uniqueness of being, are replaced with the message that their right to happily pursue their own interests, has been irrevocably and irrationally rescinded without their consent.

Now they are expected to act like everyone else and enjoy participating in only those activities that are deemed appropriate for teenage girls to engage in.

These radical and unexpected changes usher in a period of overwhelming personal confusion and sensory overload as the ability to escape into their own comfortable zones of ‘personal interest’ are stripped unceremoniously away from them.

During this time, some Spectrum girls will begin to experience melt downs due to not being able to escape either the sensory or the emotional pressures that surround them.

Often these meltdowns will mistakenly be viewed as deliberate acts of rebellion and punished accordingly.

Some spectrum girls, on the other hand, will set their minds to the task of trying to figure out exactly what the new rules of engagement are in order to seek out any loopholes that may still allow them to continue to pursue their own interests without falling foul of their peers.

This is often a process of trial and error which still has the potential to attract punishment for any and all inadvertent social infractions.

Yet no matter which option an undiagnosed teenage girl chooses the consequence all tend to lead to the same experience of psychological harm.

Psychological harms experienced include:

An extreme sense of personal disorientation

Confusion over what has taken place.

Erosion of their formerly strong sense of self.

Self-doubt.

The onset of the belief that being different is equivalent to being wrong.

Creation of the belief that no one will ever like them for whom and how they truly are.

Acceptance of the idea that they cannot be themselves and still be liked.

The combination of all of these psychological harms explains the overwhelming sense of social confusion, lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence and the propensity for self-doubt that many (both diagnosed and undiagnosed) adult Autistic women report experiencing.

It is worth noting that all of the negative messages that undiagnosed Autistic girls/women experience whilst growing up, produce the same responses that one would expect to find in an individual who has been the victim of prolonged emotional and psychological manipulation or abuse.

Another term that has more recently been applied to describe the way in which this form of emotional and psychological manipulation can be subtly delivered is Gas-lighting.

Gas-lighting is renowned for creating a sense of personal disorientation and self-doubt in those to whom it is applied.

Yet sadly, the process of gas-lighting for undiagnosed teenage girls does not end upon their reaching adulthood.

For many women who recognize themselves within the folds of female Autism later in life, the process of seeking understanding and validation in the form of a diagnosis from a professional, often leads to yet another round of gas-lighting.

If a woman expresses the capacity to recognize and understand that she may be Autistic, she’s then told by professionals, that she’s too self-aware to be on the Autism Spectrum and is summarily dismissed.

If a woman expresses feeling that she may have been let down by others or betrayed by a society that only values certain ways of being, she is told by professionals, that she has a persecution complex and is summarily dismissed.

If a woman expresses the capacity to feel love, empathy or even hints at the potential for having a sense of humor, she’s told by professionals, that she can’t be on the Autism Spectrum as Autistic people (according to some) lack the ability to feel any of these things.

If a woman’s married, in a relationship or has children, she’s told by professionals, that she can’t be on the Autism Spectrum as she obviously has both the capacity to maintain a relationship and care for others. Autistic women (supposedly) cannot do this.

If a woman is single, reclusive and/or unemployed, she’s told by professionals, that she’s suffering from depression and that all of her other issues will go away once she begins medication and starts getting out more.

And worst of all, if a woman is educated, articulate and well-informed about Female Autism and why she feels she belongs within it, she’s often told by professionals that she’s making things up about herself in order to gain attention and is instead diagnosed as having either a Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Disorder.

The tendency of those within the psychological profession to constantly deny the validity of an Autistic woman’s understandings of herself by instead reinterpreting and reinventing her words as evidence that she is too self-aware to be on the Autism spectrum, is in itself, the ultimate form of Gas lighting.