Individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome are not Sociopaths. Sociopaths are Sociopaths.

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How many of us shudder each and every time there’s “breaking news” of some lone teenager somewhere, (almost always a male), reported to have gone on a shooting rampage, just knowing that sooner or later the initial shock of the rampage will turn to the tried, but oh so rarely true speculation, that the lone teenage gunman in question, has Asperger’s Syndrome?

I know that I sit and cringe, firstly for the harm inflicted, and secondly for the offensive accusations that cause the fear and mistrust of all individuals with Asperger’s which inevitably accompany each and every report of this kind.

And frankly, I’m baffled by the media’s constantly misaligned assertions as there seems to be  no genuine link between Asperger’s Syndrome, in either men or women, and a propensity towards violence.

There is however a genuine link to be made between those individuals who experience sociopathy and a propensity towards acts of violence.

Clinically, individuals who experience Asperger’s Syndrome are purported to share some of the same challenges as those who experience sociopathy, however, sharing the same challenge is in no way the equivalent of sharing the same underlying traits.

So what are the challenges that both individuals with Asperger’s and sociopaths are said to share?

Well, according to a jaw droppingly chilling autobiography titled “Confessions or a Sociopath” written by female author M.E. Thomas, who is herself a clinically diagnosed sociopath, they are, an inability to read people’s facial expressions and body language, difficulty with understanding social rules and most importantly an overwhelming lack of empathy for others.

Um…..well…. yes, to the first shared challenge, yes to the second shared challenge and an enormous NO to the last one.

I’ll admit that there were some parts of Thomas’s book that I could relate to, and dare I say it, even empathize with.

Take for instance the high levels of confusions she describes feeling as her early awareness that she felt as if she were running on an entirely different operating system to other children her own age blossomed , and how these self-identified differences within her were ignored by the adults around her, purely because she had been born female.

Such feelings and challenges are common to many adults with Asperger’s, particularly those diagnosed later in life, and especially women.

So too are Thomas’s descriptions of both being initially unaware of and confused by her inability to automatically read social cues, body language and the facial expressions of others.

Yet this is where any and all similarities end for me as Thomas then goes on to describe how her inability to feel any form of empathy towards the suffering of others empowered her life for the better and made her feel like a superhero.

Thomas openly states that she felt as if her differences, far from lowering her self-esteem, and making her feel vulnerable, actually served to build up her self-esteem to the point where, from a young age, she believed herself to be far superior to those around her.

She felt that she was mentally and physically stronger than other girls because she was not weakened by emotions.

She also states that, despite her claimed lack of ability to read other people’s expressions and body language, she nevertheless became extremely good at “reading people”.

So good in fact, that whilst still in primary school, she was able to pit girls against each other simply by befriending those she viewed as being overly emotional, hence overly trusting, and learning their secrets, only in order to tear them apart by sharing those secrets with others when it either most suited her for personal reasons or at times in which the unleashing of those secrets would cause the most possible harm.

She describes in great detail her relish, both as a child and an adult, in applying her skill set to the ruination of other people’s relationships, careers and basically their lives, for little more than amusement.

As far as I can tell from her descriptions,  for Thomas, unlike those of us with Asperger’s Syndrome, she either learned the social rules extremely quickly with little or no trial and error needed or, she never really genuinely lacked an understanding of those unspoken, but oh so ardently adhered to social rules that so often throw us off-balance.

It seems to me as if she must have understood the rules, how else would she have been able to use them well enough against those she chose too, even as far back as primary school if she didn’t at least have some idea what they where.

Hence, the rational conclusion is that she knew them but just didn’t care enough to obey any social or moral rules, that did not in some way amuse her or benefit her own ends.

For me, this raises the question of whether or not individuals with sociopathy are actually lying about being unaware of body language and social cues in order to down play or “mask” the true level of deceit behind their manipulation of others and in this way garner sympathy rather than condemnation for engaging in their chosen sport of destruction.

As many individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome can attest, we don’t “ignore” social rules simply because we figure we’ll get more out of life if we blunder around annoying, using or offending everyone else.

Far from it.

Our social blunders are never calculated manoeuvres designed to get us what we want as quickly as possible, because if that’s what they’re meant to achieve for us then clearly, we’re doing it all wrong as they often have the opposite effect of seeing us shut out of conversations, friendship groups and even family units.

No, individuals with Asperger’s do not play at being unaware of social rules simply to garner attention or bring about another person’s destruction.

We are not willingly choosing to “ignore” them in order to get what we want; we genuinely do not understand them.

Yet for a sociopath, or so it would seem, “ignoring” social rules in order to gain an often unfair advantage over another is both a willful choice and a tactic, while for individuals with Asperger’s, it is neither a choice nor a tactic, it is for want of a better word a form of “social blindness.”

Due to this “social blindness” there is often a very clear trajectory of vulnerability that flows through our lives as a result of our difficulties/ inability to accurately discern the actions and intentions of other people.

Time and time again we’ find ourselves falling victim to those who are good at lying and deceiving us with their false sincerity and intentions.

In other words, individuals with Asperger’s are more likely to be the victims of the vicious mind games that sociopath’s like Thomas describe playing rather than being the perpetrators of such games.

After having read all that Thomas has to say in her book about living the life of a sociopath, all be it a high functioning one, I hold no doubt what so ever that I am not one.

I do not fit into any of the clinical markers of sociopathy.

In fact, I’m not even close to it.

I do however fit within the majority of the clinical markers for Asperger’s Syndrome or high functioning Autism if you prefer and have been diagnosed accordingly.

As an individual with Asperger’s I can tell you that I love and care about people, shed tears of sorrow simply watching the nightly news, and do not try to deceive, mislead or harm anyone.

But that’s just me and I accept that everyone on the spectrum is different.

However, I do believe that after reading Thomas’s book there is an argument to be made that perhaps too many sociopaths are being misdiagnosed at an early age as having Asperger’s Syndrome based purely on the erroneous assumption that because individuals with Asperger’ share the challenge of being unable to read body language and social nuances correctly, and do not respond as expected in social situation, they therefore share the same inability to feel empathy in the same way that sociopath do.

Most professionals worth their title now agree that individuals with Asperger’s do not lack empathy, far from it, if anything they are entirely overwhelmed by it.

Yet despite this the myth remains within the public’s mind that every lone gunman must have Asperger’s and here’s why….

There’s been an indelible link carved into the minds of the public regarding any and all persons who are perceived as having a lack of empathy.

Basically as far as most people are concerned having a of lack of empathy, even if it’s only a perceived lack of empathy, thanks to sociopaths like Thomas, means that people will view you as the kind of individual who has the capacity to kill, harm or maim, any living thing, without remorse.

Hence individuals with Asperger’s, who are merely perceived as having a lack of empathy due to their lack of facial expression or lack of socially appropriate responses to highly emotionally charged situations, are viewed as being as dangerous as a real sociopath, a person who genuinely feels no empathy for others and because of this, is indeed prone to acts of violence regardless of whether they be cold and highly calculated or random opportunism.

Sociopaths like Thomas provide example after example of what a life truly devoid of all empathy looks like and it’s not pretty.

From childhood on-wards her life has been filled with manipulating people, lying to them, winning people’s trust purely for the purpose of betraying, wanting to physically kill people for the slightest of perceived infractions, mask wearing, deceit and corruption, and even the wanton killing of a small animal simply because it had the misfortune of falling into her pool on a day that was inconvenient for her.

Given these examples, it’s little wonder that people would rather not mix with Sociopaths, heck I wouldn’t either.

Which is exactly why I don’t  want either my son, my daughter, myself or anyone else to be even remotely thought of as being a potential sociopath simply because our differences for some prehistoric reason place us in line beside those for whom it’s a well proven fact that a lack of empathy is a marker of sociopathy.

The truth is that sociopaths do indeed lack empathy whereas individuals with Asperger’s are often merely perceived as not showing any outward signs of empathy, whilst feeling such emotions just as keenly as almost everybody else.

Perhaps there is also one last, but very salient reason as to why young sociopaths are predisposed to being diagnosed erroneously as having Asperger’s, and that is the rather inconvenient fact that, according to the strictures of the DSM-V Sociopathy, unless it is extreme, cannot be diagnosed in a child under the age of 16.

Herein lies the problem because according to Thomas, not only did her sociopathic tendencies first emerge during childhood, so too, did her blatant mastery of them to bully, cheat, lie, steal and manipulate those around her.

She even instigated and encouraged a group of girls to make a false sexual harassment claim against a male teacher for her own revenge against him for not receiving  an A in his class.

If you combine the existence of such sociopathic childhood behaviors with the inability of Psychologists to actually diagnose sociopathy in children, along with parents for whom it is much easier to be told that their child has high functioning Autism rather than that their child’s a sociopath, for whom there are no treatments, hence no pharmaceutical remedies, then you are in effect creating a breeding ground for misdiagnosis and confusion.

And people are genuinely confused by all of this and given the circumstances, who can blame them.

There needs to be a much clearer way to discuss and define the intrinsic differences between those who purportedly initially share similar social challenges, yet who have an entirely different etiology and outcome as a result of those challenges.

I’ll end this post with one of the questions that Thomas herself regularly challenges the readers of her book to ponder is over………

“Could you be a sociopath and not know it?”

Perhaps if you are an individual who has been diagnosed with Asperger’s but truly feel you have a complete inability to feel empathy, I challenge you to ask yourself the same question.

You may well wish to consider taking the Sociopath test instead of the Aspie Test.

If you do, be sure and let me know how you go as I’d love to know.

Asperger’s Syndrome – Could the concept of Superpowers be causing more harm than good?

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There’s been a lot of talk about the increasingly popular idea that people with Asperger’s Syndrome possess some kind of superpower.

Indeed, many people seem to genuinely believe it.

Search any website on the topic and you’re sure to find groups of people who freely name their superpower and then describe in minute detail the extraordinary things that whatever their particular superpower of choice may be, enables them to do.

To me, such talk of there being any form of an Asperger type superpower is ultimately harmful as it reflects the misbegotten and much argued against concept that those with Asperger’s Syndrome view themselves as being, in many ways, superior to everyone who does not have Asperger’s.

It wasn’t all that long ago that we were fighting against the claim that all people with Asperger’s Syndrome were arrogant, detached, cold, sub-human, robot type intellectual beings, who were capable of memorizing complex physics equations , but who were also seen as being every bit as humorless , heartless and as incapable of feeling empathy as a toaster is.

Fortunately, we’ve come an awfully long way since those days.

As a society, we are now able to openly acknowledge that individuals with Asperger’s are extremely loyal and loving people who are just as capable of feeling empathy and sympathy as everyone else.

We also know that individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome give as much care and devotion to those whom they love as the rest of the population do.

We simply could not account for the fact that there are so many happily married and/or dedicated and loving parents with Asperger’s if the opposite were true.

Yet it seems that correcting the many myths and multiple misnomer’s that once served to create the image of individuals with Asperger’s as cold, heartless, intellectual machines, is simply not enough for some people.

Now, we are being encouraged, if not told, to believe that we must all tow the party line and admit to having some kind of hidden, yet terribly important, superpower.

A superpower that only those with Asperger’s Syndrome can have.

A superpower that serves , once again, to prevent us from being seen as existing within the realms of common humanity by re-framing us as having powers that go beyond the scope of an average human being.

Given that we’ve spent years fighting for the acknowledgement that we are human beings who just happen to be differently neurologically wired, as opposed to being weird, cold and sub-human beings with a superiority complex, I find it incredibly ironic that there is now a movement out there that is openly seeking to regenerate the whole ‘superiority’ angle by declaring that we have superpowers.

Apart from the fact that such claims are all pretty much bunkum, to what end does it serve to seek to over emphasize a whole range of weird and wonderful , mystical, new age types of manifestations or hidden talents within individuals with Asperger’s ?

Okay it may be good for an individual’s level of self-esteem to believe or feel as if their talents are valued, but as for the rest of the en mass movement toward claiming superpowers as an Asperger’s only thing….. Well I just don’t get it.

Yes we have empathy for others and in some cases we can be overwhelmed by the empathy we feel due to not being able to process it and understand it for what it is, as quickly as others do, but why on earth are some people striving so hard to rename this difficulty in storing empathy and in not being able to release it, as a superpower?

Why are some people now saying that someone who is good at storing information, regardless of whether or not they actually want to store that information, now has an information storing superpower?

Or that someone who has a photographic memory now has a photographic memory superpower.

Should someone who can play a piece of music after only hearing it once now be said to have a music playing superpower?

Should someone who can sing in a pitch perfect tone each and every time they sing, now be given the title of having a pitch perfect superpower?

Does someone who can draw a perfect skyline based solely on memory have the superpower of drawing, memory or both?

You’ll have to forgive me but not so long ago, we simply called these unique attributes skills or talents.

We certainly didn’t call them superpowers.

And we certainly didn’t ascribe to the belief that only those with Asperger’s Syndrome could do such things and thus hold such superpowers.

There are many people out there who are good at storing information that don’t have Asperger’s Syndrome. Take pub trivia nights for example or quiz shows like Sale of the Century or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. You cannot seriously tell me that every single person who’s ever won big on any of those shows has Asperger’s.

(Here’s a hint, a contestant with Asperger’s would likely by so nervous or stuck in the midst of experiencing sensory overload due to the bright lights, movement of cameras and audience noises, that they’d have to be working extremely hard on just hearing and processing the questions, let alone getting out all of the answers required to win in that environment).

There are also numerous people who can play music by ear, draw pictures from memory and sing pitch perfectly every time, without ever first holding the prerequisite of having Asperger’s Syndrome in order to have their talents recognized without turning them into superpowers.

As far as I’m concerned, the minute we claim that the skills and talents that have always been apparent within a sub-set of the general population belong only to one particular sub-group, and we then name those skills and talents superpowers, we are falsely claiming a degree of superiority over every other group or individual, no matter how talented, that are not of our chosen ilk.

I believe that anytime a sub-set of the population declares itself to be the holder of superpowers; they are in a very real way, also declaring themselves to be superior to every other group and are therefore actively seeking to set themselves not just apart, but above, all other groupings within society.

I believe that in making the claim toward having superpowers and therefore superiority over the rest of society, some within the Asperger’s community are indeed trying to set themselves both apart and above society.

Which to me makes no sense at all, as up until now, the emphasis for many within the Autism Community has been on creating acceptance via the understanding that we are all, each and every single one of us, equal as human beings, no matter what our neurological status may be.

So please, think about what it is you are actually saying when you say that [insert type of skill here]  is my superpower because when you actually claim this as an individual with Asperger’s, you are effectively adding to the erroneous myth that each and every person with Asperger’s either is or considers themselves to be gifted and talented beyond all normal human measures.

After all, isn’t that exactly what a superpower?

So I ask you, is this really just a harmless way of making individuals with Asperger’s feel better about their unique traits, skills and talents, or is it something that could potentially cause more harm than good in terms of the concepts of equality and acceptance for all within our society?