The gifts of being an Asper Girl – Why obsessions aren’t necessarily a bad thing.


The Girl who couldn’t seek skin

“She loved him, though no one knew why.

“He is not of her equal; not of her kind.”

But what no one knew,

Was this one thing:

She was the girl,

Who couldn’t see skin.”

Written by Coco .J. Ginger

Whenever I read these words, I instantly think of my daughter and of how Asper Girls just like her, have a tendency to develop such strong passions for people, places and things that often go well beyond the need to see skin.

Whether it be a favorite, toy, an item of clothing, a blanket, a pet or an animated creation  like the digital avatars found on the ‘Sims’, Asper Girls often seem to have the ability to create deep emotional attachments to things that other people find hard to comprehend.

As a result of their abilities to forge such deep attachments to inanimate  objects, their passions are often described as ‘obsessions’.

But I don’t think lumbering Asper Girls with the idea that they suffer from having uncontrollable ‘obsession’ does them any justice at all.

I think instead, that Asper Girls are not experiencing ‘obsessions’ but rather they are forming deep emotional connections to things in ways that others just simply may not be able to comprehend.

For my daughter, the sort of deep emotional connections to inanimate objects that she forms, are to be found within the characters she creates on the computer game the ‘Sims’.

She can and often will, if left unprompted, spend hours and hours, even entire days, creating their avatars, constructing their homes,  their gardens, their pets, their friends, their wardrobes and virtually anything else she can think of that might make them feel more comfortable in their pixellated world.

She talks to them, creates entire personal histories for them and has been known to lament for hours on end over the fact that she herself cannot speak ‘Simian’.

To her, these artificial beings are very much a part of her world and there’s no doubt in my mind that she has formed a deep emotional connection with them.

After all they have become her ever-present friends in a world in which her lack of understanding others, and their lack in understanding her, can often leave her reeling.

So her artificial friends, those silly little avatars that many would consider to be nothing more than brief flights of fantasy, provide her with a great source of comfort and connection, especially on those days when everything just seems to be too much for her.

So I don’t consider the affinity she has with the characters on her game to be signs of ‘obsessional behavior’ at all.

Rather I view the connection she has with her Sims as evidence that she not only has the ability to engage in imaginative play, but that she is also developing that rare skill of being able to take a vision from her mind and make it ‘real’.

In doing so I believe she is displaying the gift of creativity.

And in my book, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that at all.